John Oyster

52 / Just An Oyster, Out Here, Living His Best Life #DivorcedDad

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

@EBearrito give me ur spine!

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

just heard, the lads are coming for a visit next year.

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

@EBearrito drunk in France, talking about 911 or something.

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

@WildFae_ Better on someone’s stairs than in my cunting ocean

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

There I was, sitting in the house next thing you know 5 millionaires come knocking, told them to get fucked. Just seen the news that they blew up or something…

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

Wrong. I’m 52???

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

cum.

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

Britains got talent? more like the colonies got talent.

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

Just went to go check on my mate Oyster-Jesus.
Door was open and he’s gone, I’ve contacted the police but the fucking pigs ain’t done anything.

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

maaaan where all the bithces at? just a clam looking for some jam.

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

Anyone fancy coming to Lidl with me?

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

Best place for seafood

[John Oyster @JonathanOyster]

Listen, Hear me out, being an Oyster ain't half bad, as long as you don't get caught by them nasty fishermen and avoid the crumbling society of late-stage capitalism we live in. #FuckFishermenSteve