Cody Jones

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[Cody Jones @Jones_CodyL]

I hope screwing with local news outlets isn't illegal

[Egan @SlamDunkEpic]

After three beers you can call in a UAV to locate cigarettes on your mini map

[signüll @signulll]

the gulf of mexico should’ve been renamed to sea señor.

[Blaythe @Blaythexxx]

Beating the dogshit out of my family at Mario Kart. No handouts. 1st 13 times in a row. People are crying. I feel nothing.

[Dan Carney @DanManCarney]

Jake Paul should fight Joe Biden next

[clem @fairyfemmes]

yo piss ever be so yellow you be genuinely disappointed in yourself

[carmeb @therealcbrad]

I hope this email kills us both

[. @playboicurrryy]

if you flip me off while driving i’m following you home and killing you

[grace ✗෴✗ @warmhheart]

He is Risen. and by He. haha well. lets justr say. my peanits

[The Redheaded libertarian @TRHLofficial]

Today, Russia’s President gave a 30 minute monologue on 20th century Soviet Union geopolitics and our President was deemed certifiably retarded in a court of law.

[bip @sour4pple]

If your baby is crying give them a Zyn

[Luu🇿🇦 @sk1tguru]

Bro your life will literally be falling apart and your girl will still expect you to talk to her all day…

[omeo 𖤐 @ihyomeo]

i’m sad but i must ball

[debo @killmefam]

I love rooftop bars because I can jump off to kill myself

[Braxton 🟥 @Braxtonbrew96]

i'm not paying student loans if there are aliens sorry

[toxic king @toxicking]

I hope nobody think we enemies, idgaf about you