Jordan

if ya got one foot in the past, and the other in the future, ur pissin on today

[Jordan @JordanElyy]

when my cat hits me for bothering her

[Iowa City Police Hallucinations @IC_ActivityLog]

JUST GOT PUNCHED BY ROOMATE

[Jordan @JordanElyy]

@ChiefStoonchie Yes exactly

[Jordan @JordanElyy]

typing out football stats for the newspaper this morning

[Katya @katya_zamo]

Time to pay the fucking rent again

[Jordan @JordanElyy]

@Blossom_fgc Of course so sorry 🫡

[Jordan @JordanElyy]

explaining the neighbourhood lore/Jesse Billie Eilish drama to my boyfriend

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

not to be a bitch but i like reading books now.

[Jordan @JordanElyy]

this movie is the reason I have anxiety

[Erick Lorinc 🎃 @ErickLorinc]

One of the best things about Matilda is that there’s a Slasher Movie chase in the middle of it.

[glaive @glaive]

one thing about me is im always going to cry at the smallest obstacle life throws my way

[megan | indy n1 🩵 @swftsgetawaycar]

i mean this with the upmost disrespect. if you are “pro-life” unfollow me right now. i don’t wanna be moots with you, i don’t wanna be your friend, nor do i even want to associate with you. i have absolutely no respect for y’all and never will.

[Jordan @JordanElyy]

why would I ever trust a political figure? why would I ever have even an ounce of respect for them? why would I ever decide to bring a child into this world? why would I ever VOTE!!?

[Katya @katya_zamo]

Fuck that dusty ass constitution and fuck these ghoulish Supreme Court clowns.

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

and I’d say it again bitch

[Jordan @JordanElyy]

“the regular stuff has so much sugar” yeah well the micro plastics in my blood with balance it out stfu

[Jordan @JordanElyy]

i simply cannot support organic peanut butter

[EJ Chong @ejknoodles]

“make pride merch”
me: ok

[Jordan @JordanElyy]

sir I don’t know why your flip phone ringtone is so quiet please leave me alone

[Jordan @JordanElyy]

whole campus full of boomers and I’m at the info desk today

[Gail Walden @GailWalden6]

I do not understand but I disagree