Jordan Schroeder

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@rickybonky Delete

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@rickybonky Me

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@rickybonky Mmm no you’re not

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@rickybonky Pleasssssee she thought a dog hair on my floor was a lizard

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@dylans1stwife Obsessed with your hair!

[Confidently Unqualified Podcast @UnqualifyPod]

Who won the positive 5ives draft?

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@minion_gf I spy two very pretty things in these photos 😍😍

[Tati @bossedupyati]

First 2 drinks don’t count if u have anxiety, they just turn u into a normal person

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

Can you stop pissing off the toddler? Dj: “I’m trying to play and she’s taking everything I’m trying to play with”
🤦🏼‍♀️ @Djx2times

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@ramsbaby11 @Djx2times @Cade22301 I’m doing us all a favor..no one wants the two year old screaming at golf just sayin

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@dylans1stwife 💀😂😂 not a good move towards potty training tho because now peeing is “scary” was it the splashing or my gasp?? 💀

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

Ending my twitter dry spell to ask you all this: Did my toddler pee in the fridge?

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@dylans1stwife Pretty simple , neked and standing in the door picking a snack. 😅

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@onelibraonelove @Djx2times He must have wanted to repaint his room.. must be very artistic 😅😅💀

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@Djx2times I’m just educating people on the risks of having a toddler

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@dylans1stwife Stoppp 😂😂😂😂

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@onelibraonelove I literally LOL’d this is funny, poor mama!

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@Djx2times

[Taylor @mista_cocks]

This might be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

[Jordan Schroeder @JordanMarieB]

@dylans1stwife I’ve done this 😬

[Reagan Rainey @reagandwalker]

I caught my 3 y.o. “warming up” her face with the exhaust from my car this morning in case you’re wondering what kind of superior genes I’ve passed on