Jordan Schlansky

I'm an associate producer

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

Assign me a variety of tasks on Cameo https://t.co/wct5WjVHLU

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

@ConanOBrien tortellini *in brodo

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

@garyvee @ConanOBrien You gave me a 2005 Frederic Magnien Bourgogne Rouge

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

Canine augmentation by Snapchat: jordanschlansky

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

I'm definitely the only person on this airplane that knows that Jerry Speiser was the drummer for Men at Work

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

Bergamot essential oil Earl Grey black steeped at 212 Fahrenheit
https://t.co/c5bgX9DyqF

[Hugh DeFrance @HughDeFrance]

Hey @jordanschlansky, what's your take on tea? Any favorite types or brands? Or do you not drink it at all?

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

This does not happen at LAX
https://t.co/2jcyIEfuer

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

14 years ago today
https://t.co/rI68x5Rjyq

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

Imagine how the Spanish speaking world must feel about the way we pronounce Los Angeles
https://t.co/IQNWaI4euR

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

I'm confident I have the strength and balance to use an airplane restroom even while the seatbelt sign is on

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

Since we know that each generation of car design gets curvier, we should just skip ahead and double the amount of curves we add next time

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

It's time to acknowledge that urinals have a problem with splashback

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

I prefer @evianwater alone, @FerrarelleIT with food, and @GerolsteinerUSA after espresso
https://t.co/WchjsQv2d4

[Scotty Millard @scootsie34]

Hey @jordanschlansky what's your take on mineral water, particularly Perrier?

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

Eventually we'll learn to avoid disappointment and wasted cookies by making more chocolate chip and fewer oatmeal

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

We should be thankful that there are people willing to play the tuba

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

There's a fine line between sauté and fry

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

I like to live on the edge, but I consider the risk/reward ratio of resting an arm outside of a moving car window to be unfavorable

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

Superheroes need to check into their hotels just like everybody else

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

Happy Canada Day to my friends up north. I have a deep respect for your rich heritage and the relaxed raw cheese regulations in Quebec.

[Jordan Schlansky @jordanschlansky]

Sometimes rinsing takes longer than washing