Jordan

🔞 Cap

[Jordan @Jordan_727]

@ImperialKiss when security made her change: “I am far more powerful than you could ever imagine!” 😍🥵💋

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

To defeat the machine, become the machine. 😂

[Nature 🦜and Music 🎶 @GuGi263]

We bought her a little bed so she wouldn't sleep in ours anymore, and now she does this…

[Brett @BrettRedacted]

found the first conspiracy theory that I believe

[Icee Q. Bagsworth @gofastmotorcycl]

Meep meep ass locale

[CCP IS ASSHOE @CCPISASSH0E]

On today’s episode of, “The European mind cannot comprehend this”…..

[Wu Tang is for the Children @WUTangKids]

We have a major escalation….the Scots have discovered American 12% Four Loko tall boy cans 🤣….their’s is 8% with no caffeine

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Men in Blazers @MenInBlazers]

THIERRY HENRY'S FACE IS PRICELESS 🤣

You couldn't get away with that on UK television...

[Nature Unedited @NatureUnedited]

A raccoon figured out that if he blocks the drive-thru, they’ll give him a donut to make him leave

[abymael @abymaelx]

O doguinho idoso sendo obrigado a fazer hidroginástica e travando uma luta a favor do sedentarismo contra a esteira.

[Jordan @Jordan_727]

I voted for Caffeinated Princess ImperialKiss in the #AltStarAwards presented by @bad_dragon https://t.co/hVpGFiwQgM Meet in LasVegas! https://t.co/e1EfpuWD8p @AltPornNet @imperialkiss

[Jordan @Jordan_727]

I voted for ImperialKiss in the #AltStarAwards presented by @bad_dragon https://t.co/hVpGFiwQgM Meet in LasVegas! https://t.co/e1EfpuWD8p @AltPornNet @imperialkiss

[jodie @jodiepetite]

happy 3 week anniversary to those who celebrate 🥳

[Jordan @Jordan_727]

I voted for ImperialKiss in the #AltStarAwards presented by @bad_dragon https://t.co/hVpGFiwQgM Meet in LasVegas! https://t.co/e1EfpuWD8p @AltPornNet @imperialkiss

[Jordan @Jordan_727]

I voted for ImperialKiss in the #AltStarAwards presented by @bad_dragon https://t.co/hVpGFiwQgM Meet in LasVegas! https://t.co/e1EfpuWD8p @AltPornNet @imperialkiss

[Jordan @Jordan_727]

I voted for ImperialKiss in the #AltStarAwards presented by @bad_dragon https://t.co/hVpGFiwQgM Meet in LV! https://t.co/LiQwP1Z8br @AltPornNet @imperialkiss

[Nature Unedited @NatureUnedited]

A woman kept seeing a mysterious visitor on her property at night. Then she discovered it was her neighbor's Corgi riding her pony

[Jordan @Jordan_727]

@ImperialKiss