Jordan P. Barnes

Award-Winning Indie Author best known for One Hit Away: A Memoir of Recovery, voted “2020s Best Book of the Year” Indies Today.

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now."

K....I get the sentiment, but if we're being logical, wouldn't the second-best day to plant a tree be 19 years and 364 days ago? A lot of growth can happen in those 6,939 days....🌳

Drop the ego.

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

@realDonaldTrump I accidentally saw the assanation footage online before I knew he had been shot and have been sick to my stomach all day. We as a county can and must do better. Whatever happened to agree to disagree? Violence has no place in this country from any side. Why do we even have sides?

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

@cb_doge If a bartender overserves a patron and can be help liable if that person subsequently gets a DUI and hurts someone, how come a judge can't be found culpable for releasing a repeat offender into the wild? Justice for Iryna mandates holding Judge Stokes accountable!

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

I just read in an astronomy textbook that no place in the universe is more central than anywhere else. But, wouldn't the location of where the Big Bang occurred some 14bn years ago then be the closest thing to the center of the universe? Or am I misunderstanding something here?

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

@astronomerio Who is Gwyneth Paltrow and who is Chris Martin and how is any of this relevant?

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

@MrBeast @astronomerio Don't think the misses would like that too much @MrBeast

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

@astronomerio Wtf was this a notification on my phone this morning

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

@elonmusk Probably in America

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

@Nina7Infinity @mynerdyhome 1

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

Does anyone else's #mom randomly leave floral dish towels on your stove or dishwasher when she comes to visit? I normally don't notice until a day or two later when I need to dry my hands and guess I can't.

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

@PoliTheo1677 @elonmusk Get off his 🍆

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

If the Theory of Relativity breaks down at the Big Bang singularity where the curvature of space-time is/was infinite, does that mean the theory of relativity is relative to our time in space? #thetheoryofeverything

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

@elonmusk I identify as 199 to keep collecting payments....it's not that complicated.

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

@stephenHRNRP Stopped going to meetings years ago. Today I'm 13 years sober and my recovery is stronger than ever.

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

Can someone smarter than me help me with this? Have been thinking of black holes a lot, am one page into Black Hole Survival Guide, and keep thinking that black holes convert matter into time. Idk, it just seems like time has to come from somewhere. #blackhole #relativity #help

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

If Canada became the 51st State, then would would take its place in Yakko's World by the Animaniacs?
"United Stated, ???, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru..."
#canada #51stState #animaniacs

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

Jake Paul just announced his next fight! Paul vs Ozzy Osbourne! Let's fucking go! #PaulTyson

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

Can someone tag @neiltyson before
it's too late?

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

@sgonzalesauthor Isn't this how the whole "own voices" movement ate itself? Young authors being forced to come out simply in order to query? Also, have these publishers not heard of HIPPA?

[Jordan P. Barnes @Jordan_P_Barnes]

@great_insulto Thank you so much for that. It means a lot because I'm really down today.