Jordan Zak

minimal skill, maximum send

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

Do you know that when the self check out voices in the grocery store all sync up you hear the depths of hell

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

Just look at this dedication. Impossible to say no

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

@RedSox 🆘‼️ my little sister is leaving for army basic training this friday and wants to see a game before she goes! Any way u could pull through? #goarmy #redsoxnation

[bailey @Baileymoon15]

i just got the vaccine and the microchip that’s now in my brain came with another free U2 album

[The Black Keys @theblackkeys]

*According to MTV

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

Simple.

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

@StephPetraitis An everyday tweet :(

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

I played myself

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

National tequila “day” happens at least a few times a year. I can’t prove it but it’s true

[kendra ᵔ.ᵔ @k_wubzz]

essential workers have been wearing masks for months now for around 30-40 hours a week, I promise wearing a mask inside a store for 30 min/1 hr. once a week will not harm u :-)

[cyn @shyynnn]

“educate me.” no bitch, educate YOURSELF. pick up a book, watch a documentary, use the resources that are free to you. stop putting that burden on others, and expand your own knowledge by putting in the effort.

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

Greatest rap lines of all time in no particular order:

-what you think I rap for, to push a fuckin rav4
-I floss everyday but I ain’t a dentist
-leaning on a square that’s a fucking rhombus

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

I miss Savers

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

I had 50 y/o male co worker tell me today that white out was “so 10yrs a go”
excuse me?

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

Did anyone’s mom ever say “let’s shut off a half pound of these lights”

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

Yeah I watched approx. 20 bonnaroo videos last night and cried whaddup

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

@gwendolyn_annn @Oliviaciliaa Send me ur address gweny

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

Anyone wanna be pen pals

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

@Oliviaciliaa Bet

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

Those doomsday preppers are LIVING right now

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

I may or may not have accidentally started printing out 1000 copies of hand washing lyrics to country roads today at work. Hmu for a hypothetical copy

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

@Michelle7Palmer I have found my life calling

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

I can’t remember where I left my water bottle but I can tell you who played what instrument in the sixth grade

[Jordan Zak @Jordan_the_Z23]

@Michelle7Palmer He seems like a brass kind of guy. Maybe a trumpet. It also rhymes with crumpet so you know...