Jordan

27, I'm a failed child actor, currently a robotics programmer, from the land of the Geordie accent and 99% of the time you won't be able to understand me

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

Just realised I never put any pictures anywhere but I got my sleeve finished a few weeks ago

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

@ellamorgan_x I used to use that one but then I found it in liquid form and it’s way easier to put on without fear of ripping scabs off

https://t.co/bEr7hH9sQm

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

why did I agree to work at 3am on a Sunday, I have made a terrible mistake

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

MOT was booked in for yesterday, completely forgot about it…

whoopsies

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

The entirety of my office has all got to fuck off for the day on some wee day trip to a race course bar me and 2 other lads who are stuck indoors on a training course

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

@laurenamos__ Think you’re being shafted there like, I paid £1,300 about 3 years ago for a house slightly more expensive than what you’re going for

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

A full week of 9-5 training, fucking kill me now

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

It’s too hot for my pale ass skin

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

I hate taking a photo for a new profile picture, I just find the entire thing so awkward

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

May as well bend me over with the amount this passport is fucking my bank account

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

Plus £80 for the passport as well…

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

Isn’t even a good photo either

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

Just gone to have a photo taken for a new passport

£10 for 1 photo…absolute scamming bastards

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

Aye they do a good job like

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

Waiting for the nice men to clean my car because I canny be fucked to do it myself

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

Given up, I’ve put my tunnel at back in

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

Does anyone know how to stop expander plugs from falling out over night?

Constantly waking up with one of my plugs just somewhere in the bed but never happens if I wear my tunnels instead

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

Does anyone know how to stop expander plugs from falling out over night?

Constantly waking up with one of my plugs just somewhere in the bed but never happens if I wear my tunnels instead

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

Need a fireman’s helmet for the amount of fires I’m putting out at work today

I mean, if you ignore the technicality that may have started half of them…but that’s not the point

[Jordan @Jordeatsu]

This is why I don’t tweet no more