Jorge Crespo

[Jorge Crespo @JorgeCrespoTude]

@Hakurex_ @BrendaBlieve @ChampionsZone_ Tronco, que eres un puto frustrado que se pega los dias comentando a mujeres que no conoce lo poco que valen. No te han hecho caso en toda tu vida y ahora te resignas a decirles a todas que no te las follarias porque no son mujeres de alto valor. Callate un poquito.

[Jorge Crespo @JorgeCrespoTude]

@BrendaBlieve @Hakurex_ @ChampionsZone_ Ni que tuvieras que darle explicaciones a un pajero con la cuenta hecha el año pasado porque es un incel frustrado con el mundo y culpa a las mujeres de ser un perdedor.

[Jorge Crespo @JorgeCrespoTude]

@elRichal076 @renjimo_inform @NormaEdManga @MangaPaniniEsp @KibookEdiciones @Ivrea @mwediciones @distritomangaED @TomodomoEd @DevirManga_SP @SekaiEditorial @PlanetadComic Lo hago por tí

[Jorge Crespo @JorgeCrespoTude]

El otro día teníamos al profe de economía de Harvard diciendo que vivís muy bien y hay que empezar a tener los indices de pobreza de EEUU y ahora tenemos a un profe de Oxford soltando semejante barbaridad.

[Henry von Blumenthal @PaulinusOfTrier]

The Spanish Civil War is famously the only case of history being written by the losers

[Pablo Linde @Pablolinde]

La eutanasia la tiene que autorizar un médico, la tiene que certificar otro médico y luego pasa por un comité de bioética en el que hay médicos

[Chilango paulista (Pepe) 🇲🇽🇪🇸🇧🇷✊ @CdmxCiudad]

Pero tu salario depende de tu productividad solamente ehhhhhhhh

[Montseny @MontsenyAntifa]

Per si encara no sabeu a qui votar a les eleccions generals del 29N

[Piter de Vries @piter_vries]

Jugamos a un juego? Tú me dices cuántos policías han perdido un ojo, han acabado gravemente heridos o han fallecido por un adoquín y yo te digo cuantas veces ha pasado con estas cosas, a ver quién gana:

[Patxi Freytez @FreytezPatxi]

Estos son mis principios. Si no les gustan, tengo otros.
Pero, por supuesto.
Bienvenidos al mundo capitalista.

[David Fernández @naroh]

Mientras en Países Bajos, Japón, Bélgica, Francia o Alemania se desconectan webs oficiales para actualizar sus versiones de PHP…

El Ministerio de Transición Ecológica mantiene online la web de la Confederación del Miño-Sil sobre PHP 5.3.3, sin soporte desde 2014.

[𝕕𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣 ✨ @briannvalente]

PHP Foundation avisando de que si dependes de este reconocido repo third party, estás al horno porque el flaco se fue de vacaciones. Es terrible lo poco preparados que estamos para el mundo que se vino

[Idafe Martín Pérez ✨🚴 ⵣ @IdafeMartin]

En términos interanuales, España (socialista) reduce su deuda pública 1,8 puntos mientras Francia (liberal) la aumenta 3,7, Italia (extrema derecha + conservadores) 2,2 y Alemania (conservadores + socialistas) 2,0 puntos.

[French Response @FrenchResponse]

Every day we are fighting to prevent French stats from looking like this.

[Joel Grus 🤠 @joelgrus]

she's a 10 but that was supposed to be a random 384-bit number

[Ben Desprets @bendesprets]

cloudflare: lava lamps for true randomness

eMudhra:

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

Security called me at 6:12 AM today.

"Patch every PHP server immediately."

I asked what happened.

"Two critical vulnerabilities. Remote code execution. No authentication required."

Cool.

How many PHP servers do we have?

According to inventory: 12

According to reality:

Nobody knows.

We found one running WordPress.

Three running old internal tools.

One under someone's desk.

Two inside vendor appliances.

A forgotten employee directory from 2016.

And a server named:

PHP-OLD-DO-NOT-TOUCH

Naturally, that one runs payroll exports.

Then we found a PHP 5.6 box.

I asked who owned it.

The documentation said:

BRIAN.

Brian left in 2019.

We called Brian.

He said:

"Oh wow, that's still running?"

Excellent.

By 8 AM, leadership joined the incident call.

CEO:

"Can hackers actually get in?"

Security:

"Potentially yes."

CEO:

"Without a password?"

Security:

"Yes."

CEO:

"Then why do WE need passwords?"

Not the lesson.

Finance asked if we could wait until the weekend to patch because downtime affects revenue.

Security explained that the alternative was letting strangers execute code on our servers.

Finance asked for a cost comparison.

At 9:17, someone suggested temporarily taking the vulnerable websites offline.

Marketing refused.

"Our campaign is live."

So for the next hour, the company officially decided maintaining a landing page for 20% off webinar registration was more important than preventing remote server takeover.

We finally patched everything we could find.

Then our scanner discovered another PHP server.

Hostname:

TEMP-PHP-2014

Uptime:

4,512 days.

Nobody knows what it does.

Nobody owns it.

Nobody can shut it down.

But every time we block network access, the warehouse stops printing shipping labels.

Security has classified it as critical infrastructure.

It is running PHP 5.4.

The vulnerability has existed longer than half our employees.

The emergency patch took four hours.

Finding out what PHP actually runs took eleven.

The internet isn't held together with code.

It's held together with servers everyone is afraid to turn off.

[Josh @joshmanders]

Never deleting this app.

[Jorge Crespo @JorgeCrespoTude]

No me gustaria ser un web dev ahora mismo.

[NCSC UK @NCSC]

The NCSC is encouraging UK organisations to prepare for immediate updating of systems using PHP. Where immediate remediation is not feasible, organisations should consider taking the system offline until it can be fully mitigated.

For more⬇️
https://t.co/l6TDtVurJN