Josh Carson

Occasionally employed writer/comedian

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@TheEricGoldman Okay, hear me out: Porkins.

And we do a whole Cobra Kai-esque redemption arc series.

That’ll get the Gen Z kids back!

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

No. No he won’t.

[The Hollywood Reporter @THR]

Will Taylor Sheridan Finally Break Through at the Emmys With Season 2 of #Landman? https://t.co/rhAWgDy2Ol

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@DanaWessel It’s one banana Michael, what does it cost? 6.2 million dollars?

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

100% chance this wins Best Original Song and Taylor gets an Oscar.

[Film Updates @FilmUpdates]

Taylor Swift for "I Knew It, I Knew You"

Written and performed for ‘TOY STORY 5’

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@TheEricGoldman Goddamn that 30 second delay.

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@DanaWessel Don’t pretend you don’t know Krang you damn liar.

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@DougLovesMovies Short Circuit.

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

This new Air Bud movie is LEGIT!

“Ain’t no rule that says a dog can’t stand trial for murder.”

[Leading Report @LeadingReport]

Dog accidentally sh—ts woman at Nebraska convenience store.

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

I can’t wait for @DanaWessel to pretend he likes this.

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

A live-action ‘FAST & FURIOUS’ TV series is in the works at Peacock.

Vin Diesel is set to exec produce.

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@DanaWessel What if Paddington shows up?

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@TheEricGoldman The "Just the 10 of Us" son!?!?

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@noahgittell Well now I'm seeing the discourse everywhere.

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@noahgittell Oof. What happens when something is actually bad?

Actually nevermind -- we're well aware of what happens.

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@nathanrabin Remember that family you invested in and enjoyed in the first one?

THEY'RE DEAD.

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@DanaWessel Didn't know you were such a Trekkie.

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@NortonMpls I know everybody in this picture, and if they are secretly rich, they hide it extremely well. Also they should buy me more PBRs.

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

PITCH: Die Hard in a Ballroom.

McClane goes to the Christmas party and has a lovely time.

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

@JoJoFromJerz @nbcsnl If they weren't off-air the next two weeks, I would've bet money on the cold open having Colin Jost reciting the Independence Day speech.

By the time they're back, something infinitely more stupid will have happened.

[Josh Carson @JoshDCarson]

Same thing she said during Beetlejuice.

[Jon Michael Raasch @JMRaasch]

Boebert: “Why is everybody so horny here”