Josh Simmons

We’re all just different kinds of stupid

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

outlook: I'm the most powerful office tool ever made. I can search every email you've ever received and keep track of the meetings you have six months from now

me: I would like to still view an attachment after someone replies to the email

outlook: [confused hissing]

[Josh Simmons @JoshSimmons7]

Well I’m glad I didn’t go

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

JUST IN: You will soon be able to trade alongside Congress.

The Unusual Whales Subversive ETFs for Democratic, $NANC, and Republican, $KRUZ, Congressional trading has been filed.

The ETFs follow trading of Democratic and Republican members, and their family.

[Josh Simmons @JoshSimmons7]

Do I not know how wind works or does the arrow not line up with a NE wind. Any tips, @weatherchannel?

[Josh Simmons @JoshSimmons7]

This makes my mouth taste like sand

[Josh Simmons @JoshSimmons7]

How come I haven’t seen a snail in like 15 years

[Josh Simmons @JoshSimmons7]

I’ve been saving up all my Wordles so I can play them all in a row I can’t wait

[Josh Simmons @JoshSimmons7]

It’s crazy how people are more upset about high gas prices than the fact that the heavy duty pickup truck they use to commute 30+ minutes one way to their desk job only gets 14mpg with a tail wind.

[esoteric adams @nenocenturi0n]

alright hear me out: maximum wage

[Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen]

Funny how Americans are gladly willing to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars more than European countries for healthcare, but we draw the line at paying all of 50 cents more for gas.

[Josh Simmons @JoshSimmons7]

You ever type a really well thought out and clear email, with pictures and everything, but no one ever stops you and says “Hey btw I appreciated that really well thought out and clear email. Especially the pictures”?

[Tim Duffy™ @TimDuffy]

B-52s “Rock Lobster” (1978)

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

sorry I missed your call, 95% of the calls I get are from robots trying to steal my credit card information so this entire method of communication is now dead to me

[Josh Simmons @JoshSimmons7]

Wish it wasn’t rude to tell someone their opinion means nothing to you

[NPR @NPR]

A new program in Washington state is offering adults a free, pre-rolled joint when they get vaccinated against COVID-19. It's one of several vaccination incentive programs the state has rolled out.
https://t.co/pdOXGfvzwa

[ted 🇵🇸 @rtnordy]

obsessed with this guy who just uploads videos of him playing classic rock riffs while his birb freestyles vocals