JoshSwaim

NC Born and Raised🌾 Proud supporter of America, God, Guns and Beer 🇺🇸

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

I’m single because I require too much simple shit that nobody can seem to do..

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

I fucked up already, 2021 my year for sure

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

The music hit different when it speaks to your soul🎵🔊🗣

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

Not everyone gonna ride for you, pick your circle wisely💯

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

You ever see someone and be like damn they look good..Then they smile and you’re like AH FUCK ME🏃🏻‍♂️💨🤣😂

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

Netflix and lay here by my damn self🤦🏻‍♂️🙆🏻‍♂️

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

Every time I try caring about someone they end up throwing that shit out the window, so why the fuck even try anymore smfh🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

Women be like “I don’t need no man y’all all trash💅🏻” No, no man wants your ass that’s why you over here all mad and shit🤫🤣

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

Hate when you’re in public and someone just randomly grabs your arm and says “omg I bet that tattoo took a long time” yeah it did don’t touch me tho🙄🙄

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

Interstate lane guide:
Lane 1: I’m gonna drive like a asshole and hope to not get a ticket
Lane 2: I’m gonna drive the speed limit maybe a little more
Lane 3: I’m gonna drive 30 under the speed limit and then slam on brakes when I get to my exit

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

Nothing says I only date black guys more than a white girl with a Jordan jump man sticker on her car 😂

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

@Kaylaarossetti Nah never that

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

@Kaylaarossetti Don’t even know 😂

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

The sunset was pretty🌅 but you were prettier😉

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

@baileyfun91 Smmmmh

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

I swear you give a woman a inch and they be wanting 8 more🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

Day 436 without sex: Went to play golf just so I could feel what’s it’s like to drive it into a hole again

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

Day 581 without sex: I went and adopted a kid just so I could have someone call me daddy

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

Who knew evil girls had the prettiest face? You gave me a heart that was full of mistakes, I gave you my heart and you made heart break🎶🎶

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

Day 243 without sex: I went and laid in the rain just so I could be in something wet

[JoshSwaim @JoshSwaim]

I lowkey don’t care about relationships no more, because ain’t nobody serious about shit anyways🤦🏻‍♂️😴