Yet, I know it is a lie. I still struggle though. I’m a mere human with much learning to do. However; I know that I’m capable. What I’ve accomplished in Q1 of this year I never thought possible. I shall elevate constantly.
I’ve made a decision for the 29th. Yet mow all these thoughts of unworthiness are hitting. The past is constantly sprung into my thoughts. Telling me I won’t ever be accepted.
Big big challenge tomorrow. Make a steak dinner good enough for a steak eater🥲 let me tell you I’ve been looking at recipes the last week. Someone get my dad out the grave so I can ask him what he’d add😂
Even when the response to a potential opportunity is already a “no”, you keep going as if the response never happened. It’s all about your psychology. Most people despise rejection.
When I sit here and think of everything I’ve gone through even in my stupidity, I sit here and think “Damn I’m only alive because of God”. I could’ve been gone and deceased at 23.
Even when the motivation tank runs dry now, the discipline kicks in. Tired or not it kicks in. The end result will be to build something for my future and future generations. God give me the strength and wisdom to achieve.
Yeah maybe my subconscious still is in this weird phase. I’m dreaming as if everything is fine. Loving on you while on vacation. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but then again maybe one day.
As weird as this may come. I still am busting my ass as if one day it’ll be me and my paaaaapi in a lambo. Me and my lil fam in a PJ. Is that a currently reality? No, but my work ethic still does what it needs to.