Juan Valencia

Personal account. Follow me for the occasional witty remark about sports. WARNING: I'm one of 'em libtards. Also, I'm a war vet. See what I did there?

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

@gandibar, need your urgent help. No access to my email so I can’t submit online form, chat bot not working, no support number listed on website. Please provide a number I can call for support.

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

@gandibar - Urgent help, please. No support number listed on your site. Don't have access to my email, and cannot submit online form. Please provide a number I can call. Help!

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

I say we build that wall. I’m betting Mexico will help us build it. They may even help pay for it.

Let’s build that wall around TX and FL. We’ll take the hard-working immigrants and every LGBTQ. We’ll protect Disney World the same way Germans did Berlin for 50 years (a wall).

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

HOLY SHIT! Mexico!!!
#2022FIFAWorldCup

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

Holy shit!!! Saudi Arabia!!! #2022FIFAWorldCup

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

J-E-T-S!!!

JETS, JETS, JETS!!! #nyjets

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

YEAHHHHH!!! Aron fucking Judge!!!!

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

So… apparently, Bret Farve is an even bigger douchebag than we thought he was. But, hey, at least he didn’t kneel for the national anthem, right? Fucking hypocrites.

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

"You can't throw it 59 times in your opener".
- Payton Manning

"With your backup quarterback".
- Eli Manning

A more honest sports exchange has never happened. Also, can we just hire these two to coach the @nyjets?

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

Anyone check on Zelenskyy today…?

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

Quickly becoming a fan of @britishairways. Pleasant, kind crew; decent food; most importantly, though, they greeted me by name, on both flights, with “Welcome back, Mr. Valencia. We’re happy to see you again”. It’s the little things. #ba596.

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

If I’m driving with the top down and listening to The Clash, YOU’RE listening to The Clash. ☺️

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

@thistallawkgirl Flown a few times during covid without issues. The obvious basics: wear a mask, try to keep your distance. I also wear disposable gloves, though that’s surely too much.

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

@britishairways, JFK, Terminal 7 is agent-less, even after stated time. A “meeting” is the cause, we’re told. So, who scheduled the meeting, dare I ask?

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

@REISS, “Live Chat” means there’s someone… you know, “alive” with whom to chat, not just templated questions. Would call you about how you screwed up my order, but you aren’t picking up the phone, either. What gives?

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

Cut the cord, but @DIRECTV won't tell me how to ship my equipment back, gives me an URL that is no longer active (no physical, ship-to address, btw, only a warning of impending charges if I don't return on time), and the number for @FedEx. And, you wonder why you're dying?

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

I just told my wife to show some cleavage if she gets pulled over. (And, not to blame me for the expired tag. After all, she could have driven the other car.)

Follow me for more sage, friendly advice.

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

@DepressedDarth Jordan and Pippen.

[Juan Valencia @JuanValencia]

Another week, another “brilliant offensive” showing by the @nyjets.