Judge Romesh

British comedy has always revelled in self-reflexive parody.

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs!

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed? Your head hits the ceiling!

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies!

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milk shake!

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay. He woke up.

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends. He was too clothes minded.

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I’m excited to see how they turn out.

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

@robert2hartley Andy Burnham is just another smooth-talking charmer. The British public demand an immediate general election. Britain needs change - vote #ReformUK

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

@RealPatriotsRVQ @patriots777888 @reformparty_uk @EnglandUK @FreedomMatty @Mofoman360 Andy Burnham is just another smooth-talking charmer. The British public demand an immediate general election. Britain needs change - vote #ReformUK

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

@MrFezz15 Andy Burnham is just another smooth-talking charmer. The British public demand an immediate general election. Britain needs change - vote #ReformUK

[Judge Romesh @Judge_Romesh]

@0ivankaTrump1 Andy Burnham is just another smooth-talking charmer. The British public demand an immediate general election. Britain needs change - vote #ReformUK