Judgemental96

Male. I like humour, art, history, nature, a bit of politics and interesting things. LCFC. A follow does not mean an endorsement.

[Judgemental96 @Judgemental969]

Santa: What do you want for Christmas?
Me: a Dragon.
Santa: Be realistic.
Me: OK politicians arrested and jailed for their crimes.
Santa: Do you want your dragon to breathe fire?

[Judgemental96 @Judgemental969]

I don't understand why my dog always runs to the door when the doorbell rings, it's never for her...

[Judgemental96 @Judgemental969]

I told her I am 6' 4"
I failed to tell her those are 2 separate measurements...

[Judgemental96 @Judgemental969]

I've reached that stage of life where "No" is a complete sentence.

[Judgemental96 @Judgemental969]

I'm not a hoarder, I'm a "this might be useful later" specialist...

[Judgemental96 @Judgemental969]

In my generation we had Wonder Woman. In this generation, they wonder if it is a woman.

[Ćh💋ryl 👩🏼👗 @clumsyoaf33]

So it appears that at 57 years old you can now hurt your knee just laying in bed 🙄

[Claire Adams 🇬🇧 @claire_adams694]

Bridget Phillipson is calling for restrictions on NDAs being used to silence people over misconduct allegations. Well, Bridget, put your money where your mouth is. What happened with former Labour Chief Whip Nick Brown? Why was he suspended, and why has the public never been told the nature of the complaint? Will Labour commit to transparency over its own disciplinary processes, or is this another case of one rule for the Labour Party and another for everyone else?

@bphillipsonMP

[Enough! @Enough_Official]

"If a crime occurs and any one of our residents is impacted by anyone from that site, I'm coming after you, Andy Burnham!"

Powerful rebuke from Piddington Parish Council Chair Tim McNally over Labour's plan to import 1,250 male asylum seekers into the village of just 350 people.

[Judgemental96 @Judgemental969]

His girlfriend grabbed his mobile when it went off and said "Who the hell is Amber Alert?

[Judgemental96 @Judgemental969]

Men think that what a woman really wants is to find the perfect man and fall in love.
But what every woman really wishes for is to be able to eat anything they want and not get fat.

[Judgemental96 @Judgemental969]

In the packed lift at work, everyone is silent.
My stomach: I will now demonstrate the
mating call of a whale......

[Judgemental96 @Judgemental969]

A man brought his dog to watch a film at the cinema. The dog laughed at the funny parts and cried at the sad parts. Amazed, I asked the owner how. He said, “I’m surprised, too. He hated the book.”

[BBC Archive @BBCArchive]

#OnThisDay 1926: Belfast comedian, the late Frank Carson was born. Following his move to Blackpool, he spoke about his love of Northern communities, and how his famous catchphrase helped propel him to celebrity status.

[Robert Wilkinson @robertwlk]

I was an accountant from the age of 21 until I was sacked for no reason when I was 30.

A complete waste of 14 years.

[BBC Archive @BBCArchive]

#OTD 1979: John Cleese, Michael Palin, Malcolm Muggeridge and the Bishop of Southwark memorably discussed Monty Python's Life of Brian.

[𝐖𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 @WATP72RFC]

🗓️ #OnThisDay 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣4️⃣ : Graeme Souness receives his Commander of the British Empire(CBE) award from Prince William at a Windsor Castle Investiture ceremony. The VP of the DebraUK charity received the award in the Kings Birthday Honours list, for services to Football & Charity.

[Kate @KittenHippy]

Good morning my gorgeous peeps 😘 💕
Happy Friday Eve 🥳😄
Weekend is nearly here, if you stand on your tip toes you can almost see it 😅😄
Bit frosty here this morning
Hope the weather is kind to you today, wherever you are 🌤💙
Sending you all my love 💋❤️

[Sarah Graham #IStandWithIsrael @SarahGr92554048]

That would be perfect. 👇

[Judgemental96 @Judgemental969]

Her - Do you have a girlfriend?
Me - Yes, but she lives in another nation
Her - Which nation?
Me - Imagination!

[Judgemental96 @Judgemental969]

When I said I liked it rough, I didn't mean my entire life!