Judnefera Rasayon

Stop tip-toeing around tough conversations | Writer of Say This Instead | Former Diplomat | Allergic to Passive Aggression

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

It’s okay to disappoint people sometimes, we’re human. 

What’s important is that you do your part to make it safe for people to talk to you about disappointment.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

You get to have boundaries, even with the people closest to you. 

It’s okay to say “I’m sorry you feel that way, and I understand this is hard”
and still stick to your boundary, even if they get upset.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

If someone says you hurt them…

The first thing out of your mouth shouldn’t be “but I didn’t mean to…”

Intentions are important, but so is impact. 

Acknowledge their experience first, maybe apologize, and go from there.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

Say the thing that’ll let you exhale and drop your shoulders afterwards.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

The goal of a difficult conversation isn’t to be right.

It’s to leave understanding each other better than when you started.

And sometimes that still ends with disagreement.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

Asking for what you want and what you need can feel really clunky and awkward in the beginning. 

It’s okay if your first ask isn’t perfect. 

You get to do it anyway and then figure out the rest from there.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

I think it’s really important to realize that validation and agreement aren’t the same thing.

You can validate someone’s feelings, even if you wouldn’t feel the same way in the same situation.

Validating someone’s feelings doesn’t mean that you agree with them.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

Being “nice” has become an excuse for being unclear.

Just say the thing, kindly. 

Unclear communication can be just as harmful as direct communication.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

Sometimes they’ve just run their course.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

Sometimes people confuse protecting someone’s feelings with avoiding discomfort. 

I can care about you *a lot* and because I care I will absolutely insist on having the uncomfortable conversation.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

They’re not mutually exclusive.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

What do you do when the problem isn't what they said….but *how* they said it.

In this week's edition of Say This Instead, I walk through exactly how to address someone’s disrespectful tone at work.

You can subscribe here: https://t.co/giNk7dxHLu

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

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[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

why are women reluctant to say no (even when our safety isn't at risk)?

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

Being cringe won't matter to the right people.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

What successful communication really looks like.

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

https://t.co/HoIBabtc1s

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

The Met + A Birthday

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

https://t.co/s7v8oiwDgQ

[Judnefera Rasayon @Judnefera]

Leaders can move fast and fix things, but only if their people trust them.

And empathy is a necessary component of building that trust.