Julia Goolia

No filter, just thoughts

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

My dad thought he tore his labia. I told him that's impossible becauae men don't have vaginas. He meant to say his labrum

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

The fact that Starbucks gives you a free VENTI cup when you ask for a cup of ice and Dunkin charges $1 for a tiny ass little nothing cup…..

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

I thought I’ve seen it all until a passenger asked for red wine with ICE 🫠

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

I never realized how many fire hydrants were in nyc until I tried to find parking

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

When one guy snores so loudly the entire flight and keeps everyone awake

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

Wow there are actually people who still play words with friends

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

Homeless people be like “I’m hungry do you have any change?” I give them pistachios “thank you so much, do you have any change?” I thought you were hungry?

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

If you know you get motion sickness on planes, why wouldn’t you buy a seat closer to the front and bring your own salt packets if that’s what helps you……?

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

Being a female runner is owning 45 different types of sports bra

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

A run coach is basically someone you pay to listen to you talk about how many times you poop during a run

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

Wow the @MTA couldn’t even get its shit together on MARATHON SUNDAY

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

What ever happened to Lizzo? Has anyone checked on her recently?

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

Today I heard a man ask someone “what type of brown are you?” And he was completely serious….we are not okay as a society

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

Being a flight attendant is just constant conversations of people telling you about their terrible experiences flying on airplanes

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

I never get motion sickness but when I do, it’s in an NYC uber

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

This man on the plane asked for white wine, no ice. I’m sorry, who is giving you ice with wine? That is a crime

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

It’s so funny to me when people call deplaning ‘de-boarding’

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

Skincare is wild because who thought rubbing salmon sperm on your face will give you glass skin???

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

Delayed 3 hours on the plane. A man just came up to me with his baby and said “I only have enough baby formula for one more feeding, everything else is checked, what should I do?” I have lost ALL faith in humanity because HOW are you this stupid?

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

Passenger: “I usually always get nauseous and throw up from airplane food”
Maybe you shouldn’t eat the airplane food then………

[Julia Goolia @JuliaMargolis]

Today a woman on the plane asked for a sparkling water, Diet Coke, red wine AND coffee all at the same time, I looked at her and she said “liquid diet” then proceeded to eat the entire meal that she pre-selected….