I need to make a very PUBLIC announcement on behalf of younger GenXers and older Millennials.
If you see someone in their 40s or 50s who seems a little boring now, I need you to understand something...
We already got it in.
Like...GOT. IT. IN.
We are not sitting home on a Friday night because we never knew how to have fun.
We are sitting home on a Friday night because we have seen enough.
We went to parties in houses that should have been condemned and were almost certainly owned by the local drug dealer.
We saw police lights and RAN and not across a nice, flat field.
INTO THE WOODS.
Do you understand the athleticism required to hurdle uprooted tree roots in platform shoes while simultaneously trying to keep your low-rise jeans from sliding completely off your ass?
And somehow...we never spilled the Zima. We never spilled the Boone’s Farm.
That was TALENT.
We slept on floors in strange houses because the designated driver either never showed up or, in a shocking turn of events, was drunker than everybody else.
There was no Uber, Life360 or Find My Friends.
There was just somebody named Mike saying, “I know a shortcut.”
And we FOLLOWED MIKE.
We closed down bars and then decided the night was still young, so we drove to Atlantic City, where we somehow managed to get drunk, sober up, get drunk again, sober up again and then get drunk a THIRD TIME before breakfast.
And according to our parents? We were at Michelle’s house.
Eating pizza and watching movies.
Michelle’s mother unknowingly covered for approximately 17 people every weekend. If there even was a Michelle.
We drank things called Purple Passion, Mad Dog 20/20 and whatever somebody mixed inside a giant plastic garbage can. Nobody asked what was in it. You grabbed a red Solo cup and trusted the process.
We went to clubs until the lights came on. Do you know the psychological damage of seeing a nightclub with the LIGHTS ON? Nothing good happens after those lights come on.
We danced for four straight hours in shoes that permanently altered the structure of our feet.
We made entire plans without cell phones...no texts, dropped pins or group chats...just an extremely questionable sense of direction.
We rode in cars with 11 people when the vehicle legally seated five. Someone was always sitting on someone. Someone was always in the hatchback.
And there was always one friend yelling, “DUCK!” when we passed a cop.
So yes...now we like being home.
We like sweatpants.
We like cancelling plans.
We like saying, “That sounds fun!” with absolutely no intention of attending.
We like restaurants at 5:30 because we can get a good table.
We like being home by 8:17.
And if someone texts at 9:30 PM and says, “What are you doing?”
Sleeping...we are sleeping.
Because this is not boring my friends...this is retirement.
We already played, partied and danced on the bar.
We already ran from the cops through a wooded area dressed like a Spice Girl.
We have stories that cannot be posted because there are still people with careers, marriages and reputations to protect. And thank GOD there were no camera phones.
So kids, when you look at your Gen X and older Millennial parents sitting peacefully on the couch watching Dateline at 8 PM and think:
“God, you guys are boring.”
Sweetheart...oh sweetheart.
You are looking at retired legends.
Put some respect on our names. We're probably the reason Life360 was invented.
xoxoxo (posted from someone else on FakeBook) 🤣 #genx #oldandtired
I deeply hope this tornado outbreak shows why the NWS is necessary to our nation’s leaders. The NWS has some extremely dedicated forecasters focused on serving out the mission to protect life and property, and today has proven just that. Yesterday, tomorrow, always.
Thousands of the best experts at FDA, NIH, and all across HHS are being terminated right now.
These are the people who make sure the medications you and your children take are safe.
These are the people who perform and oversee research on cancer, infant health, and so so so much more.
These are the people who make sure new devices that physicians and patients use are effective.
These are the people who keep workers safe on the job and help prevent devastating injuries for workers all around the country.
These are the people who track what drugs and medications are experiencing shortages so we can adapt.
These are the people who help tackle HIV and other infectious diseases, asthma, lead poisoning, and everything else that makes many Americans sick.
And now, thousands of them are gone.
There is no way this makes Americans healthier.
We will regret this.
@venividiveech Was with my son at a squirt hockey tournament in TRF and for some reason we got a oversized room at the hotel, so half of our room was the team’s designated knee hockey area. My son is now 21, I miss watching him and his teammates play.
@panagis21 When I came home from pharmacy school, I would bring a huge textbook titled “Pharmacotherapy, a pathophysiologic approach” to study. My farmer dad would say “Do you have to study that book? I can’t even pronounce the name.” 😄 It was important to him that I went to college.
Tigers Game Day! Hutchinson is on the road again tonight as they travel to Richfield for a matchup against the Southwest Christian/Richfield Stars!
@HutchActivities
🆚 @SWCRHockey
📍Richfield Ice Arena
⏰JV - 5pm / V - 7pm
📺 LiveBarn
@johnnyrandle93@Vikings@NFLLegacy You will always be my favorite Viking. Nobody can top the face paint and your chatter on the field, but my favorite part was watching you chase Favre all over the field whenever you faced the Packers.
“What do you feed those boys in Hutch?” A little pre-practice meal of fried chicken to get our protein intake! Six days until GAME DAY #FeedTheTigers 🐯🟨⬛️