Julie Jormp-Jomp

Jack of a few trades

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

You Oughta YES: a self-help book by Alanis Morissette

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

@nayutasuhjohnny I am only just seeing this now because I left the app a while ago, but oh my goodness! I didn't know that I had any kind of impact but am delighted to hear that I helped you on your path to live your best life!

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

I tell you what, singing "Houseplant Graveyard" to the tune of "Constant Craving" seems to really be doing the trick.

[donni saphire @donni]

You don’t have to be sad about sad things if you just stay distracted forever

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

Can you believe that the editor of the magazine I work for did NOT respond when I sent her the poem I wrote about the Loch Ness Monster

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

I hate the summer in both Celsius and Fahrenheit

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

Guess which season I hate

[mothcub @mothcub_]

You don't have ADHD. Those are your natural battle reflexes. You can't relax because you are the son of Poseidon and you genetically crave action on the battlefield.

[Yesterday's Print @yesterdaysprint]

Detroit Free Press, Michigan, June 30, 1940

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

I’ve decided to adopt my mother’s habit of blaming the literal DEVIL for every slight inconvenience I face

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

Yesterday was Thursday, or as my 4yo called it, “Stupid Monday”

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

Listen kiddo, I ask myself this at least 50 times a day so I might not be the person to consult on the matter.

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

4yo: Why are all people boring but me?

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

What’s the maximum amount of hummus we can have in a day? Like legally

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

I have written yet another poem about laundry

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

Getting to this would be a dream come true

[SuperEgo Records @SuperEgoRecords]

This summer, don’t miss @aimeemann performing with Alanis Morissette at the North to Shore Festival! One show only at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ on June 22. https://t.co/bOi87AQ3fx

[Sam J Cohn, MD @samjcohn]

I CANNOT TELL YOU LOUDLY ENOUGH, DO NOT LET A CHIROPRACTOR NEAR YOUR GODDAMN NECK.

This message brought to you by a neurologist who manages Cervical Artery Dissection and their resulting STROKE.

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

I wish I could just fully commit to being ugly. Think how much I’d save on haircuts.

[ELLɅ MɅCHINɅ @orchidcamp]

hey man, would it kill you to be enchanted by the simple beauty that surrounds you for like five seconds

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

If you think the soirée I’m getting invited to is anything other than an apéro dînatoire then you don’t know me at all

[Julie Jormp-Jomp @JulieJormpJomp]

If you invite me to your soirée, I’m warning you right now: I WILL bring hummus