Nyx ✨

20 | (L) GTB+ | filmmaker, writer, etc, I do many things and at the same time none. | Todologa (sé de todo y no sé nada) |

idk in general terms

[Nyx ✨ @July70569005]

¿Qué pasa cuando una ladrona y una policía se enamoran? 💥🌈 Miami, romance, acción y muchos dilemas. Conoce la historia de Karla y Michelle en Robo de Corazones ❤️🔥

https://t.co/c9WdhijLlo

[Micol @wensadms]

Wednesday mad because her plan spectacularly failed. Enid mad at Wednesday because she didn’t let her kword the overgrown frog. Morticia mad because Wednesday about to send her to an early grave and Gomez is just surprised Enid’s still alive after calling Wednesday a loser

[swamp hag ✨☕️🌸🍓🍰 @potatoslav]

i came across a picture my parents took a couple years ago from when i was like 9. it is of me sitting, hair still dripping wet, in a towel, reading the latest Harry Potter book (Goblet of Fire so over 600 pages). at first i was like why am i in a towel here and then i remembered that it was because i refused to do anything but read that book all day and my mom took it away and forced me to take a shower because i hadn’t taken one and i was so upset because i was at the end of the book but i did it and then rushed back out to sit down and finish my book without bothering to get dressed. so yeah 300 pages is nothing.

[6ɪx✦ @ok6ixx]

My grandfather's funeral was last week and during the service, someone's phone went off. The ringtone was my grandfather's voice yelling "ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE." Everyone froze. Turns out my grandpa had recorded custom ringtones for all his kids telling them to answer their phones and my uncle forgot to change it. But it gets weirder. My aunt's phone then goes off with my grandpa singing "this is your father, pick up, pick up, pick uuuup" to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Then my dad's goes off with grandpa doing a terrible British accent saying "you've got a call, mate." All within five minutes. The priest didn't know what to do. My grandma started laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. She was like "he would've loved this." Now none of them want to change their ringtones. My uncle takes work calls and his boss hears a dead man yelling at him.

[ebby @shanevrse]

ilya rozanov, shane hollander, and cliff marlow working on a college project

[Heretics Abby 🎀⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ @abbyiimu]

"ves machismo en todos lados"

veo machismo en el cinturón de coche que al abrocharme me recuerda que fue diseñado bajo la antropometría del hombre, veo machismo en la temperatura de oficina climatizada teniendo en cuenta el metabolismo del hombre, veo machismo en la dificultad de diagnosticar a una mujer en cosas tan mundanas como un infarto porque los protocolos de diagnóstico y la educación social se construyeron sobre el modelo masculino como estándar universal, o como el mapeado de terminaciones nerviosas de vuestro miembro se realizó hace tres décadas y el de nuestro clítoris ESTE AÑO

[6ɪx✦ @ok6ixx]

I work at a library and a woman comes in every week to check out exactly four books, always murder mysteries, always returns them the next day. Today she seemed upset so I asked if everything was okay and she SIGHED and said "my husband thinks I'm having an affair." Apparently she's part of a mystery book club but told her husband years ago that the group disbanded because he made fun of her for it. So now she tells him she's "meeting Sandra from work" every week. She's been lying for three years. Her husband got suspicious about how often she sees Sandra, hired a PI, and the PI reported that she "meets with four women at a coffee shop and they drink wine and discuss unknown subjects intensely." He thinks it's an affair planning committee. She's too embarrassed to admit it's just book club. I asked why she doesn't come clean and she said "absolutely not, I already told Sandra this story and she thinks it's hilarious.”

[翡翠（ひすい） @hisui_zzz___]

いぬ、飼い主が寝ようとした時は一緒に布団に入ってくるくせに、あーもう直ぐ入眠できるなぁって寝ぼけ具合になるとスッと自分の布団に行くので、私を寝つかせるのが自分の仕事だと思ってる節がある

[moose @mooseincrisis]

tigers being the real kings of the jungle but never getting the title because lions have a blonde blowout is a level of favoritism I’ll never understand.

[ˆ𐃷ˆ @flirtaeyeon]

life is so easy when you're a man

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

top 4 feelings:

1. ​showering when no one's home.

2. ​playing music and singing when no one's home.

3. ​coming home to an empty house.

4. ​cleaning when no one's home.

[6ɪx✦ @ok6ixx]

Me: "What are you drawing, sweetie?"
Kid: "Our family."
Me: "That's nice! Why am I so much bigger than everyone else?"
Kid: "You're not bigger. You're just closer."
Me: "Oh, perspective! That's advanced!"
Kid: "No, you're standing closer because Daddy said you're always in his business."
Me: "(Looks at husband.)"
Husband: "(Reading newspaper intensely.)"
Kid: "He also said—"
Husband: "WHO WANTS ICE CREAM RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY."

[Junio @juniosousabh]

“seu pedido saiu para entrega”
eu ☝🏻

[emo @emolian0]

como le voy a hacer para tener una casa propia

[𝓑ᥫ᭡ @quesadaaa_]

Gestures to make you more elegant and feminine.

[⋆｡°✩ @uncielobonito]

ayer leí que en italiano hay dos formas distintas para el verbo “olvidar”: dimenticare (sacar de la mente) y scordare (sacar del corazón)….. no hay nada más bonito que el lenguaje

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

A few months back I Googled why my cat would make this chirping noise while looking outside & learned it's to alert each other of potential prey when hunting. So whenever he'd make that noise I started coming over to look at what he wanted to show me.
Today, there was a huge ass mosquito flying around my living room so I mimicked my cat's chirping noise & he came running. Mosquito gone within minutes. I now understand why insecure men are so threatened by single women owning cats

[s44nti @s44nti]

yo sin hacer nada en todo el día porque tengo algo que hacer a las 5 de la tarde

[Hario @Hario337]

We need more of whatever level of woke rebecca sugar is on
- makes a gay romance
> other languages dub them to be straight
- wedding, puts the girl dubbed to male in the dress.
> "we wont air it"
- plot relevant episode lmao eat shit.

[kamm @swwaex_]

así se siente ser feminista en esta ola de "las girls", trad wife, girl math, "energía femenina", girl dinner, passenger princess, Erika Kirk y sus tontadas...

[K @kourtneyinhell]

My husband proudly organized the snack pantry last week and now anytime someone opens the pantry he’s like “Easy to find everything now huh?” and you can hear in his voice he’s doing this