@HSTSKaczynski genuinely would respect him more if he just stuck with his guns and said yeah I did all this shit, I'm trying to become a better person. and didn't then have the need to justify every mistake he made.
I just want to be fully honest, accountable and transparent with all of you. I want to start this off by thanking everyone who spoke out in the past few weeks about how seeing my past behaviour has made them feel uncomfortable or upset, body image issues are not easy to speak openly on, and the way my past fatphobic comments have triggered some of you brings me immense shame. I do not hate fat people and am no longer fatphobic. I’d also like to speak out on my silence. When this stuff first came out, the negative attention put me in a state of heightened anxiety and shock, but my initial silence was wrong, I’m sorry.
Since those comments were made, I have been in intense bi-weekly therapy sessions for well over a year in order to address my issues with my own body image and how it manifested in the form of externalized self-hatred. Having previously been a plus-sized person that felt pressured to lose weight for social conformity, as well as my time male modeling, eating disorders have had and (unfortunately) still have a major grasp over my life. It is my goal to have a fluid and healthy understanding of what a positive self image feels like. Prior to seeking therapy, I had failed to recognize the way in which my mind was absolutely warped by my own experiences. Every day is a lesson and a challenge to grow as a person, and I want my impact in life to only be positive.
I would however, also like the opportunity to make a few things clear, I am not antisemetic because I am ethnically half jewish. Calling a peer a jew is not something I did with any malice or hatred. I am not someone who comes from a well off family or background, nor am I someone who has been running from “previous identities”. I have never paid people to defend me, I have never been kicked out of fetish communities, I never scammed a “16k coat” that was its fair market value (you can look it up), and I have always acknowledged my past to any who asked. A lot of misc things floating around are simply not true, and have been spread for the sake of discourse.
I’m sorry to all of those who I’ve hurt with these comments i've made in the past. I'm continuing my therapy and making the effort to comprehend how my own body image issues have harmed other people, and committing to long-term change. I really love this fandom and the opportunity it has to be a vector for joy self expression and acceptance, and I want to continue to bring said joy and acceptance into people's lives. In order to make that fully demonstrable, and for the sake of my own mental health I will be taking a short step back from social media. Without going into further detail, several moments in the last couple of weeks have been a wake up call for my own personal safety and mental wellbeing. I will share progress where appropriate and continue listening.