I'm Kim and I've been a recruiter and career coach for the last 8 years. On Twitter, I share the most actionable career tools and tips that you can use too!
3 ways to shine at work without bragging:
1) Leverage LinkedIn wisely by connecting with seniors at work and posting about your recent wins. It's a smart way to get in front of your colleagues and let them know what you're doing.
2) Get involved in high profile projects. If you get an opportunity to contribute to a revenue-generating piece of work, don't say no. Even if that's doing something you might think is 'low-status,' like writing meeting minutes/actions. Exposure to key people at your company is key.
3) Drop your accomplishments where you can. Keep a note of your recent wins. When a senior person casually asks on a call, "What have you been up to?", don't just say "Not much, same old". Instead, drop a recent win. Much better: "I've been helping the ABC team with their social strategy — we've grown by 25% by doing Y".
10 simple rules to make you seem more confident:
1. Speak at half your usual speed.
2. Apologize less. Don't say "sorry for the delay", say "thanks for your patience"
3. Remember people's names and use them in conversations.
4. Embrace pauses; don't rush to fill them.
5. Keep your shoulders back + your head held up.
6. Offer handshakes first, don’t wait.
7. Remove "Does that make sense?" from your language.
8. Ditch the "just" - e.g., "Just checking in".
9. Steer clear of self-deprecating humor in work settings.
10. Turn nervous habits (like nail-biting) into neutral ones (like making a diamond or triangle with your fingers).
What else would you tell someone early in their career?
Can charisma be hacked?
I think so.
There was a young man named Steve in the late 1970s. He had big dreams.
But Steve has a problem. He's not exactly Mr. Charismatic. He's a bit awkward, a little intense. Not the kind of guy who lights up a room when he walks in.
But Steve knows something. He knows charisma matters. It's the difference between being heard and being ignored. Between inspiring people and being overlooked.
So Steve makes a decision. He decides to learn charisma.
The result? Steve turns into one of the most ‘charismatic’ CEOs of all time. Steve Jobs.
But charisma isn't something you learn, it's something you're born with, right?
Wrong.
If you've read @WalterIsaacson's biography of Steve Jobs, you'll know that Steve painstakingly crafted his public persona. He learned techniques like maintaining intense eye contact, a trait he picked up from a college friend.
This piercing, unwavering gaze was a part of his charisma, signaling his intense focus and attention.
Every seemingly spontaneous keynote speech? Rehearsed in detail. The charm he turned on when needed? Practiced and honed.
Steve Jobs wasn't born charismatic. He became charismatic.
And if he could do it, why can't you?
Let's take a page out of Steve's book and learn how to boost our charisma. But first, let’s unpack…
What charisma actually is
Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth, says it follows a simple formula:
Charisma = Power + Presence + Warmth
Or put more simply…
Charisma = being respected + being liked
Let’s break these down.
* Power doesn’t mean you’re a dictator. It’s the primal cue you set off in people’s brains that says, “this is a person I need to pay attention to”.
* Social skills (presence & warmth) put the other person at ease, and make them enjoy being around us.
Most people fall into one of two buckets. For example:
* Presence & Warmth but no Power = the “nice guy/gal” who’s liked by all but can’t command enough respect at work. Your team loves you, but you find it hard to get the buy-in you need.
* Power but no ‘pro-social’ traits = you come across as arrogant, cold or aloof.
Essentially, we go too far with one to make up for a lack of the other. Let’s explain how to fix both:
Too ‘nice’? Here are three ways to up your “Power”:
🤷♂️1. Harness the power of body language
You don't have to be a fitness model to exude strength and confidence. Stand tall, make eye contact, and keep your shoulders back. You're not just looking strong, you're signaling that you're someone to be reckoned with.
👨💻 2. Develop an expertise
Mastering a subject or skill not only increases your self-confidence, but it also garners respect from others. People admire those who have deep knowledge in a field or a skill that they have honed over the years.
🧭 3. Have a direction in life
Being a ‘doormat’ means you’re easily brow-beaten by others. Powerful people - by definition - are the opposite.
Grab some of this power yourself by having a clear goal for your career and personal life. People can sense those who have direction and aren’t just being swayed in whatever way the wind’s blowing.
Not ‘liked’ enough at work? Here’s how to increase “Presence & Warmth”:
🙋 1. Ask sincere questions
It feels great when people take a genuine interest in you. Make others feel the same by asking questions about themselves.
You don’t need to interview them - just be curious.
👂 2. Practice active listening
When someone is speaking, make sure they know they have your full attention. Nod, make affirming sounds, and paraphrase their points back to them to show you're fully engaged.
📖 3. Learn storytelling
This is something I’ve done that I’ve felt has paid off. People are drawn to good stories and the people who tell them.
Work on your storytelling skills - more for a future post on X, but the biggest tip I’ve learned is to cut back on ‘fluff’ when talking about stuff. Try to notice when you’re rambling, stop yourself, and get to the point. It's something I learnt when practicing stand-up (I'll soon share my learnings from that soon)
🧐 4. Find someone charismatic to model
If there’s someone who strikes you as very charismatic, watch their interviews, presentations or podcasts. You’ll unconsciously start imbibing their mannerisms, becoming more charismatic in the process.