Just Heather

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

If you plant a block of Ramen noodles in the ground, and water it with Bud Light, it will grow into a college student named Todd who loves MMA.

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

I saw a guy this morning whose car had personalized plates that said "Genesis" and I didn't know if this meant he was really into religion or Phil Collins.

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

@tru_fru This is all the kids with the one named Easter.

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

My dasher's name is Wilson and I'm afraid it's just going to be a volleyball with handprint bringing my food. 📷

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

My co-worker stared at me with one eye twitching for exactly 16 and 1/2 minutes and then said "To hear the inner workings of your thoughts some days makes me happy."

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

I'd love to see a Jeopardy program that had a column titled "Things Jim Hensen will never talk about."

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

@fw_lennox1 Anything at Starbucks.

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

@Toribabieegirl He resides in a ziplock bag, inside of a black plastic box on my mom's side table and she still tells me to tell him goodbye when I leave his house.

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

@pmuniiii Then why does he fart so much in bed?

[Vanessa @cyrillasundays]

How I want to be treated after being psychotic and deranged all day

[ronni @rovnni]

eu falando sozinho no twitter sem nenhuma curtida, nenhum retweet e nenhum comentário

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

@JakeRammos Me trying to do math.
That's why I don't wear socks.

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

@octopuscaveman If I'm all by myself at work and I fart, did it really happen? Because my desk chair smells like it did.

[Cłoùd𖤐 @vapefuls]

"2026 will be my year"

Me, almost finishing march:

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

@razorfist Does this mean she'll move away from Indianola now?

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

@octopuscaveman Screams in midwestener
😵

[MACÈO MULAN @maceomulan]

if you're on my page looking for clues, here's one

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

I feel like this skeleton wants to fuck so bad but his pickup lines are just awful

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

It's amazing how fast your mood can change when you step in some water with your socks on.

[Just Heather @JustHeather8]

I'm not sure how many cookies it takes to be happy, but so far it's not 27. :(

[inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa]

“do you want to add avocado for $4?” no, i want to pay my car insurance this month