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Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
Funnyman, Man of the People and Heavy Drinker. Opinions are my own but truths are universal. Member of
#BloomComCol
.
Southerner Up North
Joined June 2014
66
Following
11
Followers
23
Posts
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
over 11 years ago
Giving stand up a go in the north for the very first time next Tuesday thanks to
@ComedyCellarV
. It's in Leeds. Read in to that how you like
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
Chocolate chip hob nobs are a stupid idea. Who thought it would be a good idea to make job nobs more fragile?
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
It is boiling! Wot the hell is up with this northern weather? Hot, pissing down, hot, pissing down, make up your mind!
#warmpissupnorth
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
The worst thing about feather pillows is the feathers. I like the pillow, but occasionaly it looks like an exploded goose.
Who to follow
Sean Turner Comic
@turnerthecomic
I'm a comedian and actor UK https://t.co/RLyxXCEsxJ
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
Tea finished, washing up done, cuppa made, kids apparently asleep, although it sonds like the beds keep walking around and whispering
#nomug
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
Tea time! The one meal of the day I feel sorry for vegetarians, it must be hard being that smug in the face of bacon.
#carnivore
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
The best fing about being self employed is you get to choose ur own hours. The worst fing is those hours consist of every waking to make it.
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
Life is like a box of chocolates, except the little guidebook has been lost, you're allergic to nuts and one in five is praline.
#thatslife
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
I'm not saying UKIP voters are cunts, but... They represent a threat of economic and moral decay in this great country. Vote anyone else.
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
Another day, another dollar. Surely they should be paying more than five dollars a week
#overworkedunderpaidunderappreciated
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
Important question of the day: "Dad, why is your face so hairy?" Kids eh? Don't they know their every question can be answered by Google?
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
On the sofa with a cuppa. Kids are in bed, missus is watching TV, I am being. Is there any better way to be?
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
Too many people today. I know the number of people in existence doesn't change much but they're not usually all in my way
#ihatetourists
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
#WhenFacebookWasDown
I had to go round to my mates one by one and tell them I was eating beans and might watch a film later. It took weeks.
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
@sdheaven Saw you once before in Harrogate I think it was. You're one of those one liners aren't you? Liked your stuff anyway.
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
I miss being able to smoke in pubs, restaurants, cinemas, train carriages and anywhere public, but then I've always been a people person.
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
It's also true that pubs smell better after the smoking ban, if the definition of "better" has been changed to mean "like sugar and vomit".
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
Remember the nineties, when saying "bummer" to someone showed compassion and didn't draw allegations of homophobia? Bummer eh?
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
Still feel a bit wrong about asking people to follow me. At least real stalkers get some fresh air and exercise
#ihavenofriends
Lewis England
@JustLikeLew
almost 12 years ago
@Glinner
Pretty new to this so sorry if I'm bothering you, just wanted to say I'm a big fan of Father Ted and The IT Crowd.
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