Retarded Mom

I'm not really that retarded... am I?
Instagram: RetardedMomOfficial

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

My daughter is already getting rid of those stubborn autumn leaves! I overhead her saying she gave our neighbor a blow job

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

I caught my daughter sneaking out at 3 am last night. I guess she just likes going for late night jogs :)

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

My daughter said her boyfriend "ate her out" last night. I think it's so nice of him to take her out to eat :)

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

I heard my daughter say that she loves her boyfriend's meat. I wonder where he buys it from?

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

Next time you do the laundry use less starch son, your socks are too stiff.

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

I used the bag of sugar I found in my daughter's backpack to bake my cake. Everyone's addicted to it now, they always want more!

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

My son is in his room watching "human reproduction videos" for his science class...

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

My daughter really has a passion for the game of basketball, she's been hiding that ball under her shirt for months now !

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

“My daughter's facebook status said "I like it rough ;)"... She must be out of moisturizer!

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

My son just told his girlfriend that he wants to get dirty. What crazy kids!! I'm going to have to go to the store and pick up more soap.

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

I'm so glad that my daughter wants to graduate she always text her boyfriend "I want the D". She really wants her diploma!

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

I put the oregano in my sons room all over my spaghetti and now everything has been so funny for me.

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

My daughter loves wearing mini skirts she said, its a game her and her friends are playing who can wear the shortest skirt !

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

My daughter is getting so popular. She comes home with different guys every night!

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

My daughter's boyfriend is so kind. When I yelled at him for taking her virginity, he said "Sorry ma'am , it won't happen again."

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

My son always asks me how long I'm going to be at work. He must really miss me when I'm gone!

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

My daughter always has red marks on her neck every time she meets her boyfriend! He must have a disease!

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

I heard my daughter saying this while she was in the room with her bf "Baby I'm cumming!". But no one called her?

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

My daughter told me her boyfriend licked her pussy! How dare she have a pet without telling me, isn't having a dog enough?

[Retarded Mom @JustRetardedMom]

My son always talks about his girlfriend's pussy, why did I buy my children a dog then?