Captain Craloingus

We live in an Oinkocracy.

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

Mfs will take a girl to out to sushi and still end up with nobu

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

You know what? Maybe this chungus life ain’t so bad after all…

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

@yellieyana Go off retard!

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

If listening to Kacey Musgraves and Clairo excessively makes me a lesbian…then SCISSOR ME FUCKING TIMBERS! ✂️

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

Pink Pantheress is helping me get thru it all god I love this bitch

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

Oh yes, hmmm I’ll have the uhh… blue chew and quaaludes please. 🙏

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

Listening to Clairo got me crying in nonbinary…

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

Everybody these days is asking what the #helly… but they should be asking WHY the helly… #hellionte

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

Raccoons are honestly pretty sick. Mischievous as hell. Mfs thrive on trash… an infinite resource. Sick as hell tbh. #raccoons

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

Gonna crash out at work I’m TWEAKIN

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

Just put a deposit down on an overpriced shithole studio in silverlake and changed my LinkedIn in bio to “freelance creative”

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

If listening to Remi Wolfe makes me a lesbian then so WHAT!!!

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

Just saw #sinners …I HATE CRACKERS!!!! Always up to something them whiteys…

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

Working out to Aquamarine by Addison Rae and getting a ridiculous pump #aquamarine

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

LA gotta be the most retarded city HOW U LIVE NEXT TO AN OCEAN AND RUN OUT OF WATER 😂 #California #CaliforniaWildfires #LosAngeles #LosAngelesWildfires

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

@AidanPDunne @BornLik23266 Shut the hell up. What do you know about anything.

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

@possiblyinbred @helloitsju Who says you can’t do both? I love hiking and free speech! #HelenKeller

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

@Goff_Fan Drug dealer vs Homeless fent addict

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

@watchoutwatcho @stephenasmith Antonio Brown

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

@helloitsju Please Electrocute My Dumb Annoying Sister😜

[Captain Craloingus @JustTobyThings]

Bleu cheese is fucking disgusting I’d rather become a heroin addict than a bleu cheese lover