Justin Gebauer

[Justin Gebauer @JustinGebauer]

Haven't been on Twitter in like 6 months. Hmmmm

[Justin Gebauer @JustinGebauer]

You know this days where you just feel off? Where you just question everything you're doing? I'm just feeling lost in my own thoughts.

[Justin Gebauer @JustinGebauer]

People who always sound out of breath on the phone.

[the freaky franchise @jimmytorosian]

Tool guy: Hand me a Phillip's head.

*decapitates Phillip*

*throws head at tool guy*

Tool guy: I said HAND me a Phillip's head, not throw.

[Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan]

Bae: Are you coming over?
Me: Yes, I'm coming over.
- Me and Bae having CB Radio sex

[GreeleyTribune @GreeleyTribune]

Greeley-Evans crime log : Pet ‘farm pig’ wakes the neighbors; Chickens on the loose; | http://t.co/bgd9itCHz0: http://t.co/fHOr0VRZxN

[Justin Gebauer @JustinGebauer]

Ugh...I hate being sick. I have never been sick so often in my life

[Justin Gebauer @JustinGebauer]

@emellis2014 You are actually tweeting something!!!

[Justin Gebauer @JustinGebauer]

Probably should stop tweeting when you start talking about aliens probing.

[Justin Gebauer @JustinGebauer]

When your mind goes to that weird spot kinda like the weird corner of the internet. it scares you.

[Justin Gebauer @JustinGebauer]

Contrary to popular belief, Aliens orally probe not analy probe. They abduct the trailer park cause they don't have teeth to bite the probe.

[Justin Gebauer @JustinGebauer]

I listened to some Pantera tonight because I was feeling very trailer park trashy and instantly realized I was abducted by aliens.

[Justin Gebauer @JustinGebauer]

@Ipoundcats I thought this was you at first. Can't believe I never realized that you look like Elsa. Haha

[Space Cats @ItsSpaceCats]

http://t.co/8o8ExaeWkq

[Justin Gebauer @JustinGebauer]

@Chance_OG fag