justin

[justin @Justinconvenien]

Real slick how they agreed to $15/hr minimum wage, and then made $15 worth $7

[justin @Justinconvenien]

Do you love leftovers, but don’t want to wait till tomorrow? Are you a fan of room service pricing? How’d you like to pay for the delivery guys health insurance? Order Uber Eats today!

[justin @Justinconvenien]

Dentists and the liberal media want you to think flossing everyday is normal, and necessary. And why do they give it to you for free? Do your own research, don’t be sheep.

[justin @Justinconvenien]

I find it hilarious that @BillGates has been trying to warn us of the catastrophic impact of a pandemic for years, and now he’s being blamed for Covid. It’d be like if we started blaming @LeoDiCaprio for global warming.

[justin @Justinconvenien]

Anything before 8am is still yesterday

[justin @Justinconvenien]

I’m glad that people who need to mind their own business have moved on from gay marriage to whether or not pineapple goes on pizza.

[justin @Justinconvenien]

@Spotify, no you’re offline.

[justin @Justinconvenien]

Burning all your cool stuff before you commit suicide is definitely the most selfish thing you could do.

[justin @Justinconvenien]

How come we don't talk about the fact that online you need to prove you're not a robot? And more importantly, how difficult it's becoming.

[justin @Justinconvenien]

@ChelseyHandleIt @Apple

[justin @Justinconvenien]

"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

*smiles and slowly pulls around a brand new fanny pack*

[justin @Justinconvenien]

Everytime I visit the Apple Store:

-Hi, welcome to apple!

- Yeah my phone doesn't seem to be work..

-Why don't you go fuck yourself

[justin @Justinconvenien]

"And you thought I could be contained!"-2016

[justin @Justinconvenien]

What type of person are you: peanut butter in the jelly jar, or jelly in the peanut butter jar?

[justin @Justinconvenien]

Who was more ballsy? The first person to jump into water, or the second?

[justin @Justinconvenien]

@SethMacFarlane "Me and grammar will be a little late"

[justin @Justinconvenien]

John Travolta really seems to be banking on "Face Off 2"

[justin @Justinconvenien]

I'm somewhat of a bad boy, if you were put the sorting hat on me I would definitely be a Slytherin.

[justin @Justinconvenien]

Hey, Don't act clueless just to write a funny tweet...you're better than that.

[justin @Justinconvenien]

"Fresh squeezed lemons...extra sugar"-Nas