Jay Moore

Old town roads....take me home
(she/her)

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

Turns out I Saw the TV Glow is not in fact a sequel to The Ring

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

I foolishly assumed the Havanese I groomed was named CMC after Christian McCaffrey only to be absolutely astonished to discover it's short for Cuban Missile Crisis

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

Old lady walked past my job, saw me working on a dog, told me I was doing a great job and gave me a peppermint. I've never felt more like a horse.

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

My best friend moved to Boston and as god awful a city it is at least there are gems like this

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

Ok so TECHNICALLY there's no rule saying Old Yeller CAN'T play basketball..

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

If Sue Sylvester was a real person Trump would have made her Secretary of Education

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

I've spent the last 4 months making mead in a closet for my DND party. Good news, I just bottled it up. Bad news, I think I reverse engineered whatever they made in bathtubs during prohibition that turned people blind.

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

I saw Nosferatu and Buffy would have dealt with that shit in 30 minutes with a snappy one liner and thigh high boots

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

Drag and wrestling have far much more in common than either side is willing to admit

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

If the whole Batman universe were real and I was living in it I would immediately assume the Riddler's secret identity was Will Shortz

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

My girlfriend asked me if I was ever rowdy and wild in college and then watched me spend my Saturday night deciding on names for all the kinds of puzzle pieces so I can refer to them easier

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

I do the scheduling for my work and every now and then I get a gem like this.

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

My brain was on autopilot today and I told a customer I thought Carrie Bradshaw was great in star wars

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

@donwinslow A league of their own!

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

I'd be a lot more worried about what employers see on my social media if I didn't have to spend an hour and a half teaching my boss how to copy and paste that's all I'm saying

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

I finally updated the app for my softball team's group chat and got a bunch of old messages. Turns out one of them straight up died and came back to life back in February

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

My roommate truly baffles me some times

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

I got two clients confused and when one came to pick up I told her "your dog has the same name as my mom!" And she looked at me funny and then said "....your mom's name is Waffles?"

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

I was so embarrassed about walking into a door at the grocery store that I lied and said I'd just gotten my pupils dilated

[Jay Moore @Justjuliagoose]

I updated my resume today and thank God I did because under skills I had that if you hide peanut butter in a room and blindfold me I can find it by smell