Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves)

All things Karen would disapprove of🥳 As seen on Scary Mommy & Today Parents ❤️ [email protected]

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

My husband just setup our Amazon account so he gets alerts every time there is a purchase. And let me just tell you, it is the most uncool fuggin thing since moms being able to listen in on ur conversation on a landline phone.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

Anyone else miss when tables were 6 feet apart? The stuff my girlfriends and I talk about at dinner should NOT be overheard by the family next to us celebrating nana’s birthday🎈

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

Whenever someone says “guess what”, do you also involuntarily respond “chicken butt” or have you evolved passed 7 years old?

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

My toddler shoved a slimy piece of candy in my mouth today and I ate it… and I actually quite enjoyed it... wtf has become of me?

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

Pro Tip: Celebrate Valentine’s Day a week later. Brenda hasn’t called dibs on your sitter, you can actually get a reservation, and chocolate is on sale 🤷‍♀️

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

I spend a lot of time on Zillow for someone who has no plans to buy a house in the near future.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

2YO: I pet your eyes?

ME: You pet my wha—- ah fekkk 🤬gawd damn %&@&🥴🤬🥴🤬

2YO:

ME:

2YO: Want pet eyes again?

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

I figured out the best way to get your husband to get off the toilet quicker is by letting him hear you using his power tools outside the door.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

Alexa has this cool feature where if your kids have Baby Shark blasting at migraine level and you yell at it to turn the volume down, it automatically ignores you and turns it up even higher.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

I figured out the best way to get your husband to get off the toilet quicker is by letting him hear you using his power tools outside the door.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

LADIES BEWARE OF THIS SCAM GOING AROUND: I ordered some expensive tools for my husband but Christmas decor showed up instead… 😞 Be careful out there! This has happened twice this week.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

Husband has taken over with the kids while I hide in my room. Currently they are in that questionable phase of murder-screaming where I’m not sure if it’s out of having fun or misery but imma have to trust in Lord Jesus coz I’m not coming out.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

Was playing with my daughter’s hair when she lovingly took my hand and used it to smear the snot from under her nose.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

I was walking out the bathroom and naturally turned the light off… It was a public bathroom… with multiple stalls. Just a little insight into who is the “dad” of the family.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

Normal Parents: Goodnight, Sweetie. I love you.

ME: Oooo! I gotta poop! I gotta POOOOP! I’ll be right back!

*and then I never come back*

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

@adamcarolla This world has gone fucking mad.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

I just said “Good heavens 7-11” instead of my typical slew of profanities under my breath when my daughter refused to let me unbuckle her car seat… that’s how I know my transition into role model parent is finally working.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

U ever stand up too fast that u get lightheaded but ur in public and don’t wanna appear “pass-y out-y” so u just act like ur doing an awkward stretch and then u realize “Holy shit. I’d rather silently die than make things weird. ” Have u ever?

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

Note to self, u cannot wake up to sounds of the baby stirring at 3AM, scroll Fb “real quick”, watch a click bait video of wild animal attacks, then expect to fall back to sleep with ease.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

I get that Alexa is be spying on us but this conversation might be where I draw the line.

ME: OK, just be patient for 2 seconds! 5YO: Alexa, set timer for 2 seconds.

[Chelsea Kunz (Karen Disapproves) @KDisapproves]

I know it’s not possible to conveniently switch your brain off but I just listened to my son explain a video game level for 17 minutes and I swear I came close.