My husband just setup our Amazon account so he gets alerts every time there is a purchase. And let me just tell you, it is the most uncool fuggin thing since moms being able to listen in on ur conversation on a landline phone.
Anyone else miss when tables were 6 feet apart? The stuff my girlfriends and I talk about at dinner should NOT be overheard by the family next to us celebrating nana’s birthday🎈
Pro Tip: Celebrate Valentine’s Day a week later. Brenda hasn’t called dibs on your sitter, you can actually get a reservation, and chocolate is on sale 🤷♀️
Alexa has this cool feature where if your kids have Baby Shark blasting at migraine level and you yell at it to turn the volume down, it automatically ignores you and turns it up even higher.
LADIES BEWARE OF THIS SCAM GOING AROUND: I ordered some expensive tools for my husband but Christmas decor showed up instead… 😞 Be careful out there! This has happened twice this week.
Husband has taken over with the kids while I hide in my room. Currently they are in that questionable phase of murder-screaming where I’m not sure if it’s out of having fun or misery but imma have to trust in Lord Jesus coz I’m not coming out.
I was walking out the bathroom and naturally turned the light off… It was a public bathroom… with multiple stalls. Just a little insight into who is the “dad” of the family.
I just said “Good heavens 7-11” instead of my typical slew of profanities under my breath when my daughter refused to let me unbuckle her car seat… that’s how I know my transition into role model parent is finally working.
U ever stand up too fast that u get lightheaded but ur in public and don’t wanna appear “pass-y out-y” so u just act like ur doing an awkward stretch and then u realize “Holy shit. I’d rather silently die than make things weird. ” Have u ever?
Note to self, u cannot wake up to sounds of the baby stirring at 3AM, scroll Fb “real quick”, watch a click bait video of wild animal attacks, then expect to fall back to sleep with ease.
I get that Alexa is be spying on us but this conversation might be where I draw the line.
ME: OK, just be patient for 2 seconds! 5YO: Alexa, set timer for 2 seconds.
I know it’s not possible to conveniently switch your brain off but I just listened to my son explain a video game level for 17 minutes and I swear I came close.