KPlitz

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

Must watch. Wake up America.

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@FarmGirlCarrie We had the Home Ec. class but the teacher was viciously mean, so I still can’t sew beyond fixing a button. I would love to learn!
The Shop teacher was so much nicer. I supposed I should be much better at building bird houses!

[RC deWinter @RCdeWinter]

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

* An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

* Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

* A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intents and purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

* Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

* A question mark walks into a bar?

* A non sequitur walks into a bar.
In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

* Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

* A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

* A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

* Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

* A synonym strolls into a tavern.

* At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

* A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

* Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

* A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

* An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

* The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

* A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

* The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

* A dyslexic walks into a bra.

* A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

* A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

* A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

* A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony .

– Jill Thomas Doyle

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

I had this conversation with a doc but it began with a different med for my teenager. We declined and it has changed the way I look at most meds now. My dad was on many meds, & has slowly reduced to 4. He feels better than ever. His doc said “Whatever you’re doing, keep it up”!

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

Patient: "What are the side effects of the statin?"

Doctor: "Some people get muscle aches. Usually mild."

Patient: "And if I get them?"

Doctor: "We'd add naproxen for the pain."

Patient: "Does naproxen have side effects?"

Doctor: "It can irritate the stomach. Reflux, sometimes an ulcer. So we'd add omeprazole to protect it."

Patient: "And omeprazole?"

Doctor: "Long term it lowers your magnesium. Your B12 as well. We'd top those up."

Patient: "With more tablets."

Doctor: "Magnesium, and B12 if the bloods come back low."

Patient: "And the magnesium does what?"

Doctor: "Loosens the bowels. Loperamide settles that."

Patient: "That's six tablets. I walked in with no symptoms."

Doctor: "Could be seven. The statin can raise your blood sugar. We'd watch it, maybe start metformin."

Patient: "And metformin?"

Doctor: "Upsets the stomach. Lowers your B12."

Patient: "We already did B12."

Doctor: "Round we go."

Patient: "Is a single one of these treating something I actually feel?"

Doctor: "No. But your numbers will look excellent."

[MJ👑 @iam__Jezreel]

This is really profound!

Take a minute and watch this💯

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@WillCainShow smart drama kids across the country are offended. 😂

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@r0ck3t23 Great points. This is also the reason many homeschool - Education tailored to each student in the way that serves them the best.

[Wes Huff @WesleyLHuff]

This Easter, I invite you to look at Jesus, consider what he said and did, and ask for yourself what I believe is the most important question you will ever answer: Did he really leave behind an empty tomb? And if he did, what does that mean for you?

This video was made possible and in collaboration with my friends at @ChildlikeMedia.

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

Sweet.

[Mila Joy @Milajoy]

The side of Trump the media never tells you about.

[Art of Life 🦋 @Art0fLife_]

Every man needs to hear this 💯

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@taco_talks I agree with what you said with 1 exception. There are lots of actual Christians that do these things simply because it’s their church tradition and they have not been taught what you just talked about. Not agreeing in practice, but we can still have unity in Christ.

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@DanGreenMN I’ll add - why aren’t they clearing and treating the roads as they have in the past??

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@bumbadum14 To clarify- This interview was not about illegals at all. It has been selectively edited to look that way. She actually runs a very reputable business. The interview is about an employee with LEGAL status that was detained at length. See WCCO for real story.

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@WomanDefiner FYI - the video has been edited to give the wrong impression. It’s actually an interview about an employee with LEGAL status that was detained for over a week and the impact of that happening regularly. This interview is not about illegals and they were never discussed.

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@giannipov @IngrahamAngle You might want to go to the original story and relisten. The interview was about a detained person that has LEGAL status to work here. She didn’t say anything about illegals at all. That wasn’t the topic.

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@SpiceyBits @IngrahamAngle FYI - This is all being presented in a dishonest manner. The full story is about a man that’s working here legally but was detained at length. Illegals were not even mentioned in this interview.

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@RoterdamMatthew @Bubblebathgirl FYI - the interview was not about illegals. It was about a man that was working here LEGALLY and was detained for many days anyway. She never said a word about anyone illegal in the entire interview. MN is having issues. Funny how the context was omitted from the post. 🤔

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@4AnimalsGoVegan @Bubblebathgirl FYI - the interview was not about illegals. It was about a man that was working here legally and was detained for many days anyway. She never said a word about anyone illegal in the entire interview.

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@DavidDansker @Wadafa7 @WallStreetApes FYI - This is being presented in a dishonest manner. The full story is about a man that’s working here legally but was detained at length. Illegals were not even mentioned.

[KPlitz @KLPlitz]

@Wadafa7 @DavidDansker @WallStreetApes FYI - This is being presented in a dishonest manner. The full story is about a man that’s working here legally but was detained at length. Illegals were not even mentioned.