The greatest red chair story of all time.
Kid from the west of Ireland tells Graham about the night their babysitter’s 13-year-old brother was left in charge.
Parents come home early to absolute carnage: curtains ripped down, smashed plates, paint everywhere, bloody nose, and the kid has clumps of hair missing
because he tried to cut it himself.
Mum looks at the teenage babysitter and says:
You’re in real trouble, Chris O’Dowd, when I tell your mother about this.
And Chris is just sitting there on the couch dying. Absolute cinema.
Robert Jenrick has a meltdown on #C4News
He refuses to accept that there are parliamentary rules that Nigel Farage may have broken
And insists the only people who can judge Nigel Farage are the people of Clacton
😅 - Whatever you do, please don't share this humiliating clip
People are saying that Nigel Farage has asked Elon Musk to ban people from X for sharing this clip of him attacking his crony Robert Jenrick.
Surely free speech champion Nigel Farage isn't that petty? But just in case, THIS is the video that you mustn't download or share
Crowned King Of The Racists
Jeff Innocent explains how racists keep mistaking him for their messiah, apparently his face says “pull up a chair, it’s 1973.”
Here are the facts as laid down by Derbyshire:
1) Farage says he won’t run
2) crypto billionaire pays him £5mill
3) Farage U-turns and runs
4) Farage hides the donation
5) Farage announces if he wins the election he will slash capital gains tax for crypto firms
Same old same old
When Robbie Savage shared a room with John Hartson, he learned one rule:
The safest thing you can do… is pretend you’re asleep.
Hartson walks in one night “around 3 a.m.”
Savage doesn’t move.
Because if Hartson thinks you’re awake…
“He’d do something like dive on you or switch on the telly or something.”
So Savage lies there, eyes closed, pretending to be asleep.
Then Hartson picks up the phone.
Room service.
“A tray of sandwiches. Not a plate but a whole bloody tray.”
Savage is still pretending.
Still lying there like he’s asleep.
There’s a knock at the door.
Room service walk in.
“Sandwiches, cans of pop and crisps.”
Then it becomes clear why Hartson ordered so many sandwiches…
He starts stacking them on top of Savage while he’s “asleep.”
Giggling to himself the whole time.
Savage finally snaps:
“John I’ve been awake this whole time you f****** idiot.”
Hartson’s response?
He jumps on him, winds him up for a bit…
Then gets bored, eats the entire tray of sandwiches and goes to sleep.
Proud.
Stuffed.
And completely satisfied with his night’s work.
'The demand for it is huge... There isn't anything like this in the North East'
Former England and Newcastle United striker Alan Shearer told #BBCBreakfast about the next ambition for the Centre he created 20 years ago to help people with complex disabilities and their families
https://t.co/ocxvEgXr6c
Humiliating for Reform UK's Laila Cunningham on #Newsnight
LC, "We've been very clear"
VD, "You haven't bee that clear, his position has hifted over weeks"
LC, "Not really, he's never said boots on the ground"
VD, "I didn't suggest he said boots on the ground"
LC, "The position has always been that Keir Starmer should have left the US use our bases from the beginning"
VD, "No, that did change over weeks"
LC, "Not from Farage"
VD, "Yes it did"
LC, "He said the US should use our bases"
VD, "He did, then Tice said a similar thing, then Jenrick said no"
ML, "If we let them use our bases it would be an aggressive war against another sovereign nation"
LC, "We are allies"
ML, "We weren't consulted as allies, this is an act of aggression by Israel and the USA"
LC, "Iran is not innocent in all this"
ML, "Didn't say they're innocent"
LC, "They say death to the west"
ML, "You don't attack every nation you disagree with"
LC, "They're a danger to us"
ML, "What danger were they to us"
LC, "They kept saying death to the west, they sent terrorists to our country"
ML, "Who"
LC, "Four terrorist attacks were stopped, they're a hostile state, we never said boots on the ground"
VD, "Andrea Jenkyns didn't rule out UK boots on the ground, and now you're smiling because?"
LC, "I didn't hear what she said"