King Pharaoh

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

I'm still King, right?

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

10 plagues is 2 much. Gotta go. Will tweet from the other side if there's T-mobile there. What do you mean Red Sea traffic is all backed up?

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Oh no! Not Pharoah Jr!! Was counting on him to keep the Jews as slaves for many more years. This king has had enough. Get Out of Here!!

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

These pyramids look great, eh? I plan on taking the credit for these.

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Anyone seen my iPhone? It's dark in here and I can't see squat. #reminderToPayElectricityBill

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Locusts. Gross. They eat all my trees. Now I can't slave watch from the shade. Guess what, Moses? The answer is still NO!!!

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Hail or Hayl. Spelled either way, the 7th plague is here and it's a doosey. The only plague that comes with in laws! #consideringbeingAjew

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Boils! No cream in the world can help. Maybe I should let you go. Nah, I'm as stubborn as they come. Besides, my dermatologist is hot!

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Cows dying left&right. Gross. I miss my pink slime burgers. Going organic,baby! #shoutoutToDavidKaplan (still a slave, to yoga!)

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Anyone else notice some wild animals out of their cages? Almost scary enough for me to free the Jews. NOT! #iThoughtYourGodWasTough

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Itch. Scratch. Itch. Scratch. Definitely need the @HairFaries to visit the palace. This tea tree shampoo ain't helpin. I will not let you go

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Anyone know where I can get a late night burrito in South Cairo? Never mind, I'll send a slave.

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

One game of Frogger is great, but these things are everywhere! Even in my underwear. #plague2. Who cares? #stubbornKingsRule

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Is Ray still wearing that ridiculous shirt? It's getting old, bro...

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

This paper cut won't stop bleeding and I did not order cranberry juice. WTF?! (what the Faroh) Ah - a little blood don't bother me. #plague1

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Did you hear something in the forecast about plagues? I'd hate for that to ruin my weekend. #VegasBaby!

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Get a load of Aaron & Moses asking me to let the slaves go..Are here guys for reals? #HeartHarderThanSteel

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

One just asked me for some water. I was like, "yeah, sure - maybe in about 400 years!" #ThingsJewishSlavesSay

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Sometimes I beat my slaves just b/c I can. Work 'em in the hot sun with no water - always a good time. Its good to be the King!

[King Pharaoh @KPharaoh]

Ah - life is good! Jewish slaves are building these cities for me and it don't cost me a dime. Don't have to pay for health insurance either