Jess

26. Astrophysicist and writer. Certified egirl. Catch me on the Eric Andre show.

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

Babe are you okay or are you thinking about the two-headed calf poem again

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

@AskPayPal Like if I had to pay you back with interest that’s understandable and reasonable but since you went full nuclear about this, I will too. You’re never gonna see a penny of that $1300 from me.

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

@PayPal what I wanna know is why you’re charging me $100 a day in overdraft fees. I owed you about $60 two weeks ago and now I’m supposed to pay you $1300??? LMAOOOOOOOO you’re never gonna see any of that

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

Hittin a bong with one hand petting a cat with the other

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

#NewProfilePic

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

“sorry i groomed some kids. anyway here’s wonderwall”

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

that’s so clit ! (crazy lit)

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

Having my pussy ate under the bleachers by some desperate soccer mom while on 10 hits of acid listening to Deftones just hits different my man

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

Made a friend

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

I was meditating and all I got out of it was that I’m turning into my mother and now I’m just mad

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

look at my bigass HONCE

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

Might not even have to wait that long boys

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

Calling it right now Trump is gonna get additional charges before this trial is over because he’s not gonna be able to keep his damn mouth shut

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

RIP Doritos Guacamole® (2003-2006). You were a real one ☝🏻 🥑

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

Looked at a sponsored Musk tweet and the replies weren’t filled with death threats and vitriol and I got nauseous

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

“When’s white history month!!!” It’s called the renaissance festival

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

My sister has the patience of a saint to be a K-5 art teacher because if I had to get fortnite danced at every single day by some 8 year old I’d fucking lose it

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

DONALD TRUMP GET ARRESTED SPEEDRUN

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

tesla is not really a car or spaceship company. thats all smoke and mirrors. elon musk is actually 1 inch tall and is being projected to look larger. teslas real invention is the technology that makes him appear to be the size of a fully grown man when hes just an inch tall.

[Jess @KaijunoJ]

Bf is on politicaltube and I just heard Russia referred to as having “cosmic Mongolian energy” and that sounds like a strain of weed I wanna smoke