Kaj

all the gums will bleed regardless of what we believe

[Henry Winkler @hwinkler4real]

Hope you and yours are healthy

[jameswhite @JamesCageWhite]

Give me your money 💰 just joking 😀

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Car’s Satellite Radio Display Taking Its Sweet-Ass Time To Reveal Entire Name Of Song https://t.co/3s89OXDFp3

[James @CaucasianJames]

everyone’s wondering if i’m team kong or team godzilla. i’m team jesus

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Tearful Justin Trudeau Chains Self To Keystone Pipeline To Stop Biden Administration From Destroying Oil Industry Heritage Site https://t.co/hDvimXFYXk

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Garth Brooks Solemnly Rides Mechanical Bull While Singing ‘Amazing Grace’ #InaugurationDay

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Visit https://t.co/csf5QUbhed to see more from the standard bearer of global journalism.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Indifferent Nation Didn’t Even Notice Metal Shards In Recalled Ice Cream https://t.co/2vDGvlbPcd

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Ted Cruz Makes Last Effort To Block Election Result By Unleashing Wave Of Locusts From Mouth To Black Out Sun https://t.co/jKXqUFyC0x

[Kaj @Kaj_Anderson]

Is Phoebe bridgers even real or am I trapped in some weird fever dream?

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Purity Ring Powerless Against Cody https://t.co/HzVVSUz3s3

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Melania Trump Hangs Decayed Badger Carcass Over White House Mantel To Finish Off Traditional Slovenian Christmas Decor https://t.co/Kf53vlka6H

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

disney exec: it’s about a guy who thinks he’s a monkey lol. probably don’t need anything too crazy for the soundtrack.

phil collins: [eyes glowing white, levitating above the ground] no

[Kaj @Kaj_Anderson]

My New Years resolution is to be more patient

[Kaj @Kaj_Anderson]

@ the guy in the benson bathroom playing your zoom lecture at full blast in a stall: I respect you.

[Kaj @Kaj_Anderson]

@ whoever is playing exclusively fallout boy and imagine dragons on repeat in the king Henry clubhouse: please stop. It’s been an hour.

[Kaj @Kaj_Anderson]

Accurate

[The Onion @TheOnion]

2020 Election Day Recap

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Tampa Bay Awards Ceremonial First Pitch Of World Series Game To Stingray That Killed Steve Irwin https://t.co/jkty3DzuUa

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Sam Darnold Pissed He Forgot To Bench Self On Fantasy Team https://t.co/wkaxg5Pv3e