Settler

Follow me and I will follow back ASAP
Manchester United loyal fan.
Sports lover🏉 ⚾⚽🏀🎾

[Rodgers Kipembe Mpuru @RodgersKipembe]

Ex-President Uhuru Kenyatta and President William Ruto now reside in one quiet neighborhood within Transmara, Narok County.
Uhuru settled at his secluded retreat, Ololmoongi Farm, in October 2022, right after his term ended.

Twelve months later in 2023, President Ruto shifted his base from Sugoi to Intona Farm in Kilgoris for good.

Currently, both occupy the same ward and the same village. Their two properties share a direct boundary line.

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

I have started seeing ads of international schools on my page. There will be signs

[Settler @KakaiCaleb3]

@polo_kimanii Mtu akiona sende yako heshima huosha bana

[Settler @KakaiCaleb3]

@User01KE Very true hiyo kitu inaisha kama sabuni bana

[Mjukuu 🇰🇪💥 @User01KE]

Safaricom, Airtel and Ruto have united to milk us dry, 1GB is like 10MBs nowadays

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

There is a certain type of erotocism that if you witness,its no longer arousing,it now becomes sad and concerning. What I witnessed in a strip club in uganda was supposed to be fun,but it wasnt. It was around mid night and I was half drunk,We had just closed a deal with a friend of mine called Jalang’o,na sio huyu MP. Jalang’o is a common name among luos,it means jamaa atari

We were in a strip club called Kimansulo. The plan was to get premium erections but it got disrupted by the things these girls started doing. They were naked. One took a beer opened it,and instead of drinking it,she inserted it in her fajina. I thought she would only put in a small part,but she continued pushing it,mpaka ikaingia three quarter buana. When she pulled it out,the bottle was half empty,pombe amekunywa na kinywero. Mama yangu!

Her counterpart who was also naked,ignited a cigarette. She blew it and then inserted it in her kindiki,her ass. And then she did this thing where she made it look like she was smoking it,nikama anaipuliza,kidogo tunaona moshi inatokea kinywero bwana. By this time,I was not high anymore. I was concerned. Moshi inatoka ikiwa round buana. She made eye contact with me,like she wanted me to go and put my head inside that round smoke

I ran away,went back to the hotel. Behind me where i was seated,there were two people who were also having sex,uncontrollably,they had even slapped me at one point. That is when I looked and knew my visa to heaven was no longer valid. Saitan aliniwesa aki.

[Settler @KakaiCaleb3]

@Sp__ke_ Safi in a few

[Ja Kamagambo🇰🇪 @JaredoumaA]

It seems mzee Rigathi is enjoying raw intelligence Bana.
I even saw that director of investigation begging him to avoid politizing everything.
He even went ahead begging Riggy G to report any information regarding the investigation.
Raila was not enjoying such deep raw intelligence the way Riggy G is enjoying.

[Settler @KakaiCaleb3]

@Masika_039 @Safaricom_Care Wamekufanyia Ile kitu😅💔

[Settler @KakaiCaleb3]

@LijordiDixon @Vikruzmfalme @georgediano Aiyaa 😅 kwani where does he come from nyinyi wote mumkana

[Edwin Sifuna @edwinsifuna]

Day 1 on the Agriculture committee and guess who was there. My friend the Governor of Samburu! The universe does have a sense of humor 😁😁

[Settler @KakaiCaleb3]

@nancy_p11

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Bookten sahii anaongea na sign language,mdomo haiwezi ongea. Mikate na coca cola wamememeza huko state house na watchman wenzake imejaa ikafika kwa koo. Walikua funkie

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

What women call ovulation is basically what us men feel everyday. We produce testosterone almost 20 times more than women on daily basis. And you can Imagine how wild women get during ovulation,mwingine alinipigia simu saa nane usiku,ananiambia kim nimelemewa kuja,nikamwambia aniwekee fare,she sent 5K,nikazima simu. Mtu anataka utoke kasarani saa tisa usiku,uende mpaka Bulbul huko ngong ukaswage yeye,ichieni bwana?

Na ujue ni siku tatu tu,now imagine if women were ovulating 30 days a month. Unajua wanaume tungekua katika hali ya atari sana bwana. These people would be rapping us,vigorously! Thats why I laugh when i hear people say men are sexually indisciplined. Do you know what discipline it takes to walk with an upright penis in CBD,where 96% of the women have their thighs outside? Na saa ingine jua huwa inawaka,testosterone inapanda,unambao mpaka unaskia kitefutefu bwana. Ziet!!

Earth is hard!

[1-9_CFC🇰🇪 @Motono__]

@polo_kimanii Kimani haimanishi watu wote tuko na kisogo tunakaa Kasongo, that is a treasonous abuse to all kisogo people association, Kasongo ni ile unaskianga inaitwa bad seed. Otherwise #RutoMustGo and Sifuna is the 6th

[AuraDman @aura_dman]

@polo_kimanii Hiyo course nilifanya,woiih,wacha kwanza nilie. Nakuambia nilikuwa najua nitakuwa nawork na detectives venye iko kwa ile series ya Lucifer. Anyway, short story long, mkiona kijana amesimama hapa naivas taon na rungu kwa mkono, tafadhali msipite. Niekee hadi thate nikunywe chai.

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Sasa kuna course ingine inaitwa Criminology. Mama yangu! Pale huwa mnafunzwa mambo ya cessori lemborosso the father of criminology,how to spot a criminal,mnaambiwa criminals have sharp kisogo like kasongo,lakini ukitoka hiyo shule,kazi utaionea kwa cinema. Yani Kasi onge bwana. Nobody is employing criminology students. Some of us are lucky we opened our own security firms. AP recruitment unaenda na certificate wanakwambia toa ujinga apa,uko na mguu kombo,huesi ingia kikosi,labda utoe elfu mia nne

Criminology students after paying almost a million shillings in school,they have nowhere to go. Inabidi umeingia Wells fargo kama watchman,kuscan watu na machine imeisha battery,end month mshahara ni 10 sausand,na allowance ya two hundrend shillings. Unakatwa SHA,na NSSF,nyumbani unaingia na elfu sita mia tano. Mama yangu! Inabidi umegeuka criminal. Apa nje sio rahisi aki

[Bena @benardohmichael]

Acha niendelee tu kuchase hawa tweeps, ipo siku mmoja atakubali😭😂😂

[Samora Moses Machel @Samora_KE]

I attended a meeting with @IEBCKenya a few days ago. I made a statement to the IEBC.

“The problems IEBC is facing are of its own making because the “I” in IEBC is only a suggestion to those charged with manning that institution. Unless and until these persons begin to give life to the “I” and begin to act independently without fear or favor. Unless and until the IEBC stops glossying over serious electorial issues, we are walking right into a compromised election and the consquences of which many have not contemplated”

I want to re-iterate this to the @IEBCKenya . Excercise your independence; the earlier you start the better for all of us.