nothing matters

please follow me thank you

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

who grandpa

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

@FortniteGame #Bounty

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

Me: I can predict the future
Interviewer: Do you have any special skills

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

San Francisco announces they are a bunch of losers and nerds and lame

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

everyone taking about michael jackson valling him the “King of Pop” wtf like it’s def coke

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

good morning to everyone except people who pronounce “gif” like jif

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

this the “if you don’t stop it back there I will turn this car around” button

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

seeing all of these #TheBachelorette tweets making me hate luke p and I don’t know who he is

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

its fine when they do it but when I do it I'm a "felon" and "can't vote anymore"
https://t.co/ibPgRgHKRX

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

I cant forget the joke I heard in middle school "andy's mom probably had toys named buzz and woody too" LMAOOO

#toystory4

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

me: I'm gonna go to sleep early tonight

me at 3:44 am:

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

who grandpa

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

kinda random that when I join twitter nobody knows me, but when @TheRealOJ32 joins twitter everyone knows them... not sure why that is

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

what did one tennis merchandise salesperson say to the other tennis merchandise salesperson when they were being too loud?

quiet down you're making a racket

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

been thinking about this one for a while now

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

@TwitterSupport I got locked out of my account because it looked like I was under 13 when I made it, I was trying to get access back but I do not have a government issued ID so I can’t properly fill out the form I need to

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

D.C. is so cold I think hell is finally freezing over

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

*God assigning roles*

God: You get to move water

Rivers: nice

God: You get to shoot fire at the sky

Volcanoes: SICK

Rivers: *visibly upset*

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

it’s fucked up how there are 1000’s of songs about christmas but only one about blessing the reins down in africa

[nothing matters @KangarooButter]

STAR WARS SPOILERS:

Hannah Montana is Miley Cyrus