Kapancake

🇺🇸

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I needed to move a sofa.

I mentioned this to an American. He said, "You know anybody with a truck?"

I did not know anybody with a truck.

He looked at me with real concern. Not pity. Concern. The way you look at a man who has told you he does not have a name.

"You gotta know somebody with a truck."

I asked how one acquires such a person.

He said, "You just do."

This is the third time I have received that answer in this country. It is the answer to everything here. You just do. There is no process. There is only the eventual fact of having.

He said, "Ask Kevin."

I do not know a Kevin. He said Kevin like I should. He said it the way you say a shared uncle.

I met Kevin four days later. Kevin owns a truck. Kevin does not own a truck for himself. Nobody owns a truck for themselves. Kevin owns a truck for a fifteen mile radius.

Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS TAKEN A VOW. HE DID NOT ANNOUNCE IT. HE SIMPLY PURCHASED A BED AND ACCEPTED THE CONSEQUENCES.

Kevin arrived on Saturday. He brought the truck. He also brought a second man.

I had not asked for a second man.

The second man's name is Tony. Tony came because Kevin came. Tony did not know me. Tony did not ask what we were moving. Tony brought gloves.

They moved the sofa in eleven minutes.

I offered them money. Both of them laughed at the same time, which felt rehearsed and was not.

I asked what I owed them.

Kevin said, "Buy the pizza."

That is the price. That is the entire economy. The truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable and the pizza is also not expensive and everyone knows what size.

Inside I said: THE FEE IS FIXED ACROSS THE ENTIRE NATION AND WAS SET BY NO ONE.

We ate on the floor because the sofa was against the wall and none of us wanted to be the first to sit on it.

Tony told me his daughter plays soccer. I asked if she is good. He said, "She's aggressive."

I still think about that.

Three weeks later, Kevin texted me.

"You free Sunday? Helping Tony move a fridge."

He did not ask if I wanted to. He informed me of a fridge.

Inside I said: I HAVE BEEN CALLED UP. I DID NOT ENLIST. THE PAPERS WERE FILED ON MY BEHALF.

I went. I moved the fridge. I have no truck. I contributed only arms.

Afterward, a man I had never met asked me if I knew anybody with a truck.

I said, "Yeah, I got a guy."

I have a guy.

I am somebody's guy now, too. Tony has told two people about me.

He describes me as "the guy who's strong for his size."

I have never been prouder of a sentence in my life.

[eliop14 @eliopdagod]

Gamefreak needs to make a pokemon game with sprites/pixel art again.

That's where the soul of these games is

[NRM84 @Mappy6984]

Brett could throw 5 picks and still beat you with 6 tds

[NyantaClips @NyantaMeko]

World peace is achieved by dudes being like this, soft racism and just having fun with everyone

[Legal Phil @Legal_Fil]

One thing that I respect about Fetterman is that you can pretty consistently guess his stance by starting from the proposition of "which is the side of the working person."

[Corry -Flo Factory @CorryAKnowles]

You not oppressed. You just on social media too much listening to everybody’s problems and opinions and attaching them to your life. Log off and touch some grass, appreciate life and freedom.

[Jack Ragnow @Ragnow79]

Zach Top rocked that anthem

[Stocking Mill Coffee @smcroasters]

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55: 8-9

[Sholdon Daniels @SholdonDaniels]

Term limits.

Single issue bills.

Voter ID.

🇺🇸

[Being Libertarian @beinlibertarian]

Instead of Universal daycare…

How about we create an economy with a currency with enough value that it allows one parent to be able to work while the other can comfortably stay home?

You know, like before 1971.

[Phoenix @dalvincookin]

I'm seeing people say Caleb cemented himself as a "superstar" last night

Dude was 24/48, 70 passer rating and two of the worst INTs I've seen. His SEASON completion % is 53%.

What we saw last night was an all time Packers collapse. Not the emergence of a rising "superstar"

[✪ Evil Te𝕏an ✪ @vileTexan]

I don't even care if these Somali daycare centers were real, why the fuck am I paying for them?

[𝓐𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓷 𝓡𝓪𝔂 @2CynicAl65]

If the government can have 18 billion dollars scammed from it without anyone noticing, then We the People are paying WAY too much in taxes.

[Elijah the Middleborne @TheMiddleborne]

Time to get another credit card
Forgive me, @DaveRamsey, but Gondor calls for aid

[Kapancake @Kapancake]

@Kurt_Steiner Iconic photo. Been my phone background for years now.

[SMB Attorney @SMB_Attorney]

The lengths men will go to avoid Thanksgiving at their in-laws

[Konstantin Kisin @KonstantinKisin]

"When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say".

My thoughts are with Charlie Kirk's family.

[ThatsGoodSports @BrandonPerna]

If I were the CEO of a giant company, say Bud Light for example, I’d sponsor RedZone.

7 hours of commercial free football brought to you by Bud Light. Bud Light is happy to make sure you have zero commercials today!

I am a marketing genius