Kapn' Kraw

The one and only magic pirate!

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

#IWasCalmUntil I realized someone ate all my leftover Easter Peeps. Then I remembered they're Peeps. Pretty the Peep company just takes the leftovers and reuses them every year. There's a good chance YOUR Peeps are from a time when your Grandparents were mocking Peeps taste.

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

Kaptain Kraw would like to issue an apology statement for his use of 'jokes' with little to no puns. He realizes they are not funny but needs to update his twitter. Kaptain Kraw also wishes to say that he or any associates of Kaptain Kraw find COVID-19 in the least bit humorous.

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

All this talk of CARGHHHHHona has got the ol' Kaptain too scared to go outside. #CanCoronaSwim?

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

YARR!
What do ye call it when a buccaneer gets upset over the cost of baked goods?
A Pie-rate irate!
..... Gimmie a break I’m running outta pirate puns #pirate #joke

[Playtonic Games & Friends - WISHLIST SUPER YL KART @PlaytonicGames]

Fancy winning a physical Switch edition of #YookaLaylee? We reckon you deffo do.

Follow us and retweet this tweet before 14:00 BST tomorrow and a copy could be yours! #WinWednesday

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

@PlaytonicGames How’s this? 10 broken balloons and countless tears later, I present to you... Ballooka-Laytexy! #PickMePhoebee!

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

The Kaptain meets the Captain

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

How much do pirates pay for ear piercings?

A Buck-an-ear! #piratejokes #Pirates #Jokes

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

Don't itch eyes with hookhands #LifeAdviceIn5Words

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

#BetterUsesForPlasticBags Hang em on your mast to catch the wind for yar ship! Make sure it's a big bag though, like 50 feet big.

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

Did you hear about the new pirate movie coming out?

It's going to be rated ARRRRRRR

#Pirates #Jokes #lol

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

What did the 80 year old pirate say on his birthday?

AYE MATEY! (I'm eighty)

#Pirate #Jokes #Nailedit #Lol

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

#StupidQuestionsForAGenie

Can you grant me the foresight to see if I made a stupid wish?

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

What did the ocean say to the pirate?

Nothing, it just waved! #Pirate #Hegotjokes #nailedit

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

Nobody throws a pARRRRRty like Kapn' Kraw!

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

#IMayHaveOverreactedWhen I made me first mate walk the plank for taking the last chocolate coin from me Easter basket. #sorrynotsorry

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

Does anyone know any good pirate jokes out there?

Neither do AYEEEEEEE

#SIllySunday #Jokes #pirate

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

Me sails have frozen over! #blizzard2018

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

Merry Chrismas to all the good little pirates out there. And to all the naughty pirates, there's always next year!

[Kapn' Kraw @KaptainKraw]

Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. #MyMentalHealthIn5Words