God I haven't used this app in ages but it used to be like me diary. So.
4-26-26
I'm really really not doing good and I have no idea what to do or how to fix it. I'm falling apart in every way, especially mentally.
If iPhone would have had the βrecord a phone callβ feature this time last year, my storage would be absolutely full of my parents voices. How has it already been 3 whole months without my mommy and almost a year without my daddy?
LIFE IS TOO FUCKING SHORT YβALL!
Breaking my diet to sit with my dying father at 10pm to have the other half of the cinnamon roll he didn't want is probably the highlight of key memories I have with him as an adult and I'll literally cherrish tonight, forever.
This is so fucking hard.
The fact that the 4th of July is my whole family's favorite holiday (especially my dads) and this will likely be dads last is absolutely killing me to think about π
I just want it to be perfect even though he probably won't remember it that night π₯Ίπ
You were always someone I felt I could truly trust and count on. Now I feel like that was something you did to get on my good side, not because we are friends and that really fucking blows.
My two favorite things on the planet are reading and being in my hammock and with two broken arms and six weeks off from all my jobs, I can't do either. π π
I used to be the bitch that needed to respond to people instantly or I would feel bad. If there's one thing I've learned with everything my parents are going through, people can fucking wait.