Kate VanDonge

She/her

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

forgiving debts... what's next? they're in prison and we visit them? hungry and we give them food? a stranger and we invite them in??

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

Breaking my accidental Twitter hiatus to share this Christmas joy with all!

[Lauryn Ipsum @LaurynIpsum]

I fucking live for unhinged Victorian Christmas cards. Some years I just share the terror with friends, and others I choose to spread the chaos. This year I pick the latter.

Let’s start with the truly inexplicable.

Frog + beetle waltz
Sky jellyfish
Mutant beet-man
GOAT
🧵

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

@BVanDonge

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

Should I be afraid of my hair being cut while I’m asleep?

Definitely thought we missed this phase entirely and now I’m terrified!

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

5.75 holding scissors: mom, do you not like long hair?

Me: I do like long hair... why?

5.75: Because if you don’t want long hair, I can cut it for you. I’m really good at it.

Me: How would you know that you’re good at it????????

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

@VickiHillhouse @Verse_Converse So. Many. Chocolate. Milks.

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

@uncannydust Legit had a crush on Dimitri as a kid!

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

Why yes, I was told this as a preteen and coached on how to behave accordingly. SMH

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

@VickiHillhouse

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

I wish I had the confidence of my 5yo who is currently muttering “this is going to be magnificent” while working on her coloring.

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

My 5.5yo is trying to charge me 50 cents to watch her eat a pistachio.

Um... no?

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

5.5: mom! I made it to the end of the WHOLE INTERNET!

Me:

[Seanan McGuire @seananmcguire]

One thing that seems to get lost a lot in the discussion of risk taking and public health and airborne disease is the difference between "my body, my choice" and "your body, my choice."

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

Don’t worry y’all, my child just believes my scoliosis was caused by iNcEsT...

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

5.5yo: I think I know why mom’s back is crooked
@BVanDonge: why?
5.5: you know how brothers and sisters can’t marry?
Ben: because it causes genetic mutations?
5.5: yeah, so maybe papa and suep
Ben: are brother and sister? They aren’t
5.5 *skeptical look*

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

I’ve only stolen one...

[Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus @BeeeejEsq]

Fed up with your girlfriend stealing your clothing? Marry her. I’m in my ninth year of knowing exactly where all my hoodies are.

[Kwame the Gr8 @KSekouM]

*kicks in the door* OKAY LISTEN ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES, no stop give me the mic back, ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES IS WHEN ONE PARTNER WHO HAS TROUBLE FALLING ASLEEP/SLEEPING PEACEFULLY CAN FINALLY DO SO WHEN THE OTHER PARTNER IS NEARBY. BONUS POINTS IF THEY WERE ONCE ENEMIES.

[Kate VanDonge @KateVanDonge]

5yo: movies make me much happier than youuuuu!
Me: wait, like movies make you happier than I make you happy or movies make you happier than movies make me happy?
5: BoooOooooOooOOOth

[Alyssa Leader @alittleleader]

When your position is both “People who can’t afford to go to college shouldn’t take out loans to do it” and “People who do jobs that don’t require a college degree shouldn’t be paid a living wage” it kind of starts to seem like you just want to keep poor people poor.