Unpopular opinion: It's a red flag when your partner turns cruel during conflict. Disagreements shouldn't erase kindness. Even in chaos, you should still care, still feel respect, and still feel loved. A partner who stays kind when things are hard should be normalized..
They are not confused about what you're saying. They hear you clearly. They know you're hurt, they know something feels off, they know you're asking for care. The problem is not that they don't understand. The problem is that changing would require them to give up their convenience, and they would rather keep things easy for themselves than uncomfortable for you. That is not a communication issue. It is a values issue. It is the quiet decision to protect their own comfort instead of protecting the relationship. And once you see that, the argument stops being about words and starts being about priority. Because when someone truly values you, your feelings are not a debate-they are something they choose to handle with care.
People have learned a few psychological buzzwords on social media,like "gaslighting," "narcissist," "boundaries," and "toxic", and now they use them to run away from normal human conflict. Sometimes your partner isn't a "toxic narcissist violating your boundaries"; sometimes they are just annoyed, having a bad day, and you are actually the one who was wrong. We have weaponized therapy language to ensure we never have to apologize or compromise.
@comodijolu001 La peña está tan yonki de dopamina y de "good vibes" que en cuanto una relación requiere un mínimo de esfuerzo de honestidad o de gestionar un conflicto se asustan y huyen
@FaranArts Por qué siempre tenemos que ser nosotras las que cedemos, las que modulamos nuestra intensidad y las que "encajamos" para que el resto no se sienta incómodo?