not Katie

It’s me, I’m your friend

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

Someone take my tinder away

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

How about you don’t post your beautiful European vacation pictures, for me

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

@lalalaural Having ur read receipts on isn’t a personality trait LAURA

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

When’s the last time you spun around a bunch and got dizzy?

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

Reacting and commenting professionally on my friends’ LinkedIn posts is one of the highest forms of comedy to me

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

Yes you CAN get on an airplane with a hacking cough but have you ever thought maybe you SHOULDN’T

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

Republicans have a really hard time with pronouns until you misgender their dog

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

I want one of my close friends to buy a lovesac, I don’t want one but I want to be able to sit in one whenever I want. Same thing with a yacht.

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

Have you ever thought sometimes violence IS the answer? Only sometimes but still sometimes

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

The feminine urge to expose my cat’s teeny tiny bottom teeth and stare at them until I cry at how cute she is

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

JAIL to Clayton’s wardrobe person what are you doing dressing this overgrown man baby like a traffic cone #Bachelor

[eat soup @jasminericegirl]

venmo a woman $500 today

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

@ellle_em

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

I wish I never developed object permanence or depth perception, I was happiest at 5 or 6 months old

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

Thinking about the old lady who used to live below me who had a dog named Fire so sometimes we’d hear her screaming FIRE in the middle of the night and we just had to ignore it

[K A C E Y @KaceyMusgraves]

❤️‍🔥 star-crossed: unveiled in DC ❤️‍🔥 photos by @phill_mcdonald

[opal ꨄ︎ @opaltheoracle]

current mood: that episode of ppg where bubbles temporarily loses her shit

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

Oh to be a baby cheetah in a zoo with an emotional support dog

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

Me at 4:30

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

The holy Trinity

[not Katie @KatieKateOG]

I would get fired so quick if I did my job half as poorly as my apartment’s leasing office