KatieWouldntGo

Late to the game stay at home mom after 15 years in the sun-up to sun-down workforce. Did they always ask for this many snacks?

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

Just tried texting "screenshot" and it autocorrected to "shitshow".

Pretty much.

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

Ok boys I’m back in PA now so you can get back to some W’s @Phillies

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

Just heard a couple with a baby turn down an offer for a dinner out because they only have one diaper left and I miss being able to use that excuse

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

Remember when ur <5’ Italian mom would smack ur a*s for interrupting another adult? Now as an adult I’m mid-convo & the kid comes running over to her mom like:
Mom did u know frogs have knees? But only on Tuesdays if it’s raining.

No! Tell me more right now! Ms Katie can wait!

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

@jaimejaimz Awful

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

4pm to 7pm is the worst time of day. Go ahead and try to argue.

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

Reason # 976,349,633 why I won’t get on a plane.

Horror as man dies on Lufthansa flight from Bangkok to Munich https://t.co/UBcRRvMyM6 via @MailOnline

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

I just showed my 12 year old daughter how to open a new cd’s plastic wrapper like the guy from Sam Goody taught me in high school. GUYS. I JUST SHOWED MY 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER HOW TO OPEN A NEW CD’S PLASTIC WRAPPER LIKE THE GUY FROM SAM GOODY TAUGHT ME IN HIGH SCHOOL.

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

Reason # 482 I love reusable grocery bags: more shit for my husband to leave laying around after he uses them.

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

How come I take 1 shower per day but I have to close the shower curtain 786x per day?

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

@nut_history

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

Literally just cried watching @eltonofficial perform #TinyDancer @rockhall induction ceremony. A legend with his legendary song. And Willie’s 90 and still performing. 🤯
We need to appreciate these artists while we’re still lucky to have them here with us.

[Tom Turner @TomTurn33219837]

Sir Elton John.

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

First day of winter? Really?! It hasn’t been winter for like 17 months already?

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

Chub-rubbed my way through my favorite pair of jeans. They’ve been my BFF for years. I’ve never felt so whole as when I wore them. It’s a sad day in history. My husband said we should have a Viking funeral…I will never feel whole again.

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

@ChathamPark_ES Yay, my little buddy! ❤️

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

@brian_mathew75 @ReturnofR Taylor Swift and The Hooters too, right?

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

Just got heart palpitations when I randomly thought about when the teacher would write “see me” on the test. I’m 43.

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

Just got Pretty Woman’ed at a door hardware store on the Main Line. Yes, looking for a f$cking doorknob and a deadbolt. He barely let me in the door.

Now if only I looked like Julia so I could go back and tell him and his big fake teeth, “Big mistake. HUGE.”

# d*ck

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

Me: “I’m so excited! The new front door is being installed today.”

Jimmy (9): “Why are you excited? It’s just a door.”

Me: “When you get old, house stuff excites you.”

J: “When I get old, puppies are gonna excite me.”

[KatieWouldntGo @KatieMBoyer]

Thank you for a fun season, @Phillies
We love you, as always ❤️