Katje

wait.. WHAT?!?

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

7-year-old: Sometimes I don't feel like doing.

Me: Doing what?

7: Just doing.

She is me.

[Katje @Katje3k]

Monday, contain your shitstorms pls. #fuvm

[Sophie2078 @Sophie2078]

Friend: Are you ok?
Me: Yes.
F: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
F: Are you lying?
Me: Yes.

[Katje @Katje3k]

Some BS simply cannot wait,ye? It must come out of your full mouth with chunks of food along, ye? Mfkr.

[foggy memory @someonesmomma]

I'm screaming so loud on the inside I'm astounded no one can hear me

[Katje @Katje3k]

Hello. Welcome to the land of `nobody gives a shit, get the hell over yourself. kthxbye`.

[Katje @Katje3k]

My viciously productive sheep counting streak came to a screeching halt when the morning alarm rang...

[Caitlin @caithuls]

COWORKER: Leaving early?
ME: Yeah, need some extra time to cry in the car
COWORKER: What?
ME: What?

[batkaren (a/k/a kt roth) @batkaren]

They say "you snooze, you lose," which means I start every morning failing multiple times in 9-minute intervals.

[Katje @Katje3k]

Annoyed by my eye rolling? How about you stop causing it?

[Katje @Katje3k]

That moment when you reach for your phone to turn off the alarm a few seconds before it rings. WHAT just happened??

[Katje @Katje3k]

Ah, opening one's inbox on Mondays! Isn't it just like being run over by a cattle stampede?

[Katje @Katje3k]

Sticks and stones may break my bones.. but the morning alarm breaks my spirit.

[Katje @Katje3k]

I'm pretty certain each time a morning alarm goes off, the devil grins with delight.

[Katje @Katje3k]

I was wondering what that sound was after stepping on a scale..? Oh, just my heart shattering along with it.