Kirstie

wife, mom, nurse, homebody, surprisingly competitive at jenga

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

I need to go grocery shopping. My husband came home yesterday and described our fridge as “minimalist”

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

I have 2 dogs and 2 cats and not a single one of them protected me when there was a snake in my house yesterday. I am done.

[Save California @BethBridges]

@tracybeanz We lived in an HOA. The weed cops would check everyone's yard periodically.

One time my dad missed a weed near a bush that got a little tall so they wrote him up for a weed over 12" tall.

You know what he did.

He cut it to 11" and trimmed it every week.

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

The most Florida that to happen to me recently is getting chased down by a 6 foot gator while casually walking my dog

[katie @katefeetie]

entitled millennials are “quiet nourishing” - taking 20, even 30 minutes out of the middle of the work day to eat food. we interviewed 87 corporate bosses who hate it

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

@lesuhlee @milfloverliv In my defense I did none of these things

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

Freida McFadden books have me in a choke hold

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

Whoever decided the price of throw pillows needs to go straight to jail

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

My son has regressed back into his “wheels on the bus” era 🫠

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

@lesuhlee Okay listen. I don’t talk to anyone

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

I am THRILLED trolls is back on Netflix, as a mother of course

[Sam Ghali, M.D. @EM_RESUS]

When a patient says “I feel like I’m gonna die”, they are about to code until proven otherwise. Trust me on this one.

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

It should be a federal crime to check someone’s hemoglobin A1C after the holidays

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

@lesuhlee I literally carry tums with me at all times and have them on my nightstand to prevent this

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

I am so dumb. I looked out my window because i thought I heard gun shots and it’s literally fireworks. Like girl, you live literally 10 min from Disney and Universal. Why was gun shots my first thought 🥲

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

Me: *excited to take overtime contract bonus*
Also me:

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

Men can not do anything alone. My husband just asked me “what’s my last name?”. I know the language barrier is there….BUT Y’ALL KILLIN ME

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

@lesuhlee Dude I’m on a rampage

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

@lesuhlee This clears things up 😂

[Kirstie @KayBeckstrom]

Me: “I don’t know what I want for dinner”
My husband: “aren’t we having margaritas and watching the kardashians?”