K£P

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[K£P @KayEhlPee]

@elonmusk But unfortunately, in America, it’s easier to be a fuck up than a stand up.

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

@TamNotTammy Please be sure to send me a pic when you’re wearing a bolo tie

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

@TamNotTammy “I’m sorry Ma’am…I don’t speak poor.”

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

The only difference between the two of these other than the obvious is that one has black beans 😒 Thanks @ChipotleTweets I’m glad I paid $9.00 for this joke that you call a burrito with “extra” rice

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

@TamNotTammy Yay Tam!! So excited for you!! Property management is not for the faint of heart. Good thing you are you. Get ‘em!! 💕🥂

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

@brijohns0n It will come for you. You’re too beautiful & awesome in every way for it not to. 💕

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

Nothing like being hungover af and your bulldog dragging her wet jowel across your forehead after she just finished a bowl of raw lamb meat/bones/organs 🤢 last night’s champagne is about to take the elevator

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

Baby sister said she has a machete and will slit the throats of the sign people or not delivering the signs on time. That was a lie...no machetes 😂

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

I wish hiccups didn’t make me seem less serious when I want to scream at people. #daydrinking

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

Just spit a tic tac in my sisters hand when she asked for more.

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

@brijohns0n Someone once told me they don’t like to bleed out and die so there’s also that. lol

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

I assume anyone driving with their mask on is doing so in order to resist the temptation of licking their windows.

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

Save your $10 boots for when you’re out getting tipsy & having sexual relations with priests @emilymarcy_

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

This isn’t what was supposed to happen

[Tina40 @RealTina40]

@NYGovCuomo Yeah ok #maskmyass

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

And how long are people just going to continue following along like sheep? Walking a certain way, staying away from the ones they love, covering your faces, putting chemicals on your damn groceries, etc. I guess calling it Communism-20 would’ve been too obvious 🙄

[Adam Carolla @adamcarolla]

Turns out the people dying from covid are old or sick or both. How many of you pussy's got played ? and who's going to get played the next time.

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

@TamNotTammy Wayfair or Overstock

[K£P @KayEhlPee]

@TheMcKenziest This is false. Different countries just have different scoring/tracking systems. Some have only a slightly different system than ours. Even with some of the same privately owned credit bureaus. But our scores here typically wouldn’t matter in other countries.

[Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti]

No matter how prepared I am or how many times I do it, I still get butterflies in my stomach whenever I eat a big bag of butterflies.