Kayla Castillo

I'm just a human who would probably benefit from a nap.

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

8 yo: Mom! I made a new hover craft. I named it EliteDefender69!
Me: Cool, but why did you pick that number? 😶
8 yo: I dunno, sounded cool.

It's starting 🤣😅 #sendhelp #boymom #DonovanDare

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

7yo: You're the best mom ever!
Me: Awe 😊 thanks babes.
7yo: Wanna know why? It's bc you say the eff word a lot! 🤣
Me: 😏 thanks....I think?
#DonovanDare #mykidisweird #lookoutjimcarrey #mykidisfunny

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

My tits are sweaty. My feet are cold. The only reasonable explanation is that my girls are greedy bastards. #makeadecisionalready

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

@jimmyfallon The AC went out during my parent's wedding...in July....when it was well over 100°. Their cake melted and the Bride nearly had a heatstroke. #WeddingFail

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

I just tried to make toast in the microwave. Some may say my Saturday nights are getting pretty wild these day. #treatyoselftotoast #SaturdayNight

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

9yo: Mooommmm you're starting to get a turkey neck.....
Me: oh God! 🙄
9yo: Don't flip about it....its beautiful!
Me: You are going to be a great partner someday! 🙃

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

Him: ok, Fart Face!
Me: Um, did you just call me Fart Face?
Him: no, I called you Art Face
Me: 😒
Him: ...bc you're a piece of work 🤣😎
Me: 😑😏 .....that's true though.....🤷‍♀️

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

Boys are playing games sitting next to me.
9yo to 7yo: Give me a turn or i'll kill your mother.
Me, THEIR MOTHER: umm excuse me?! 😶
90yo: What can I say, you're on the line, Mom. 🤷😎🤪

🤣😅 I wonder where he gets his sense of humor? 🙃 #BoyMom #MyKidIsWeird #DillonDanger

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

Oh Philly, you eccentric little psychos, I've never loved you more! 😘

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

Updated Microsoft Word. I now can use the dictate option! Yay! At least something is still willing to listen to me yammer on. #iFeelSoHeard

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

Trump really took that sweet United States lemonade and turned it right back into lemons. And that's why I'm voting for #Biden2020

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

@410bras This kid seems to have it figured out already. Lol

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

8yo: dating is romance in a private location. I don't like romance at all! I would die before dating someone.

This kid mannnnnn #cooties #kidsareweird #dinnerconversations

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

My hubby is tucking in the boys to bed and I hear this FROM THE OTHER ROOM!
David: I dont think you have to worry about growing a beard between my genes and your moms. It will grow in just fine.
🤨

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

@JeffreeStar I had to sacrifice my most beloved mirror, but I think I may have finally broken the 2020 curse! 🙃 That's what I'm telling myself so I don't cry at least. #guessimbuyinganewone #2020curse #jeffreestarcosmetics #420edition #SadDay

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

6yo:Brother, you're such a bad person.
8yo: 🤨
6yo: I'm just kidding! Hahahahah

They are keeping their insults straight to the point these days 😂 #boymom #DillonDanger #DonovanDare

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

8yo: Eyes are the window to the soul.
Me: Can you see my soul?
8yo: *leans in until our eyeballs are almost touching* oh! Yep.
😶

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

I just hit the 'I should buy a slide trombone' part of quarantine. #QuarantineLife

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

Quarantine Thoughts: Will humans evolve to have longer, more flexible thumbs as a result of handheld electronics? #QuarantineLife

[Kayla Castillo @KaylaNeedsANap]

Did you know they make LARGE bags of Sun Chips?! I didnt even know people liked them enough to finish a small bag...huh. #sunchips #TheMoreYouKnow